


Dogs? Really?

by jehc



Series: Cats? Really? [2]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:04:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4606068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jehc/pseuds/jehc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miranda discovers that Andrea writes fan fiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything to do with The Devil Wears Prada. I make no money from this. I am just playing with friends.

Thank you Lara for the prompt: Miranda catches Andrea writing fan fiction.  
And thanks to Gin and Lara for the support.

Please read my story Cats? Really? before this one, otherwise it may not make much sense.

 

* * *

 

The Devil Wears Prada is a book written by Lauren Weisberger. The main character is Melissa Parsons the EIC of Courtier Magazine. Melissa is clearly modeled after Lauren’s previous employer Miranda Priestly the EIC of Runway Magazine. The tale contains a beleaguered assistant Amanda who is no doubt modeled after Miranda’s true assistant Andrea Sachs.

* * *

 

Emily sounded extremely agitated as she appeared at Andy’s desk and began to reprimand her. “ Have you forgotten the Tuesday budget meeting? Those numbers are due to Miranda in 10 Minutes, which means they’re late!” When it comes to their boss Miranda if it isn't fifteen minutes early it’s late.

Andy looked up confused she had sent the budget numbers to the printer half an hour ago. “They should be there, when did you last check?”

“The only thing that has been on that printer in the last two hours has been an article about dogs. Why the hell Runway needs an article about dogs is beyond me.”

“Who submitted it?” Andy asked surprised.

“I haven’t a clue,” Emily chuckled. “But I wouldn't want to be them!”

“Why?”

“The heading said, Dogs? Really?, I mean come on any idiot knows better then to question Miranda on anything, never mind an editorial request!”

Andy blanched as she turned to her computer and pulled up the print Q. She stared at the screen feeling faint as Emily continued. “It must have been pretty bad because after a few moments she burst out laughing!”

“Laughing?” Andy asked quietly.

“Laughing,” Emily nodded. “The last time I heard her laugh like that four people in makeup were fired! Can you imagine how bad it was to cause Miranda to actually laugh out loud?”

“You have no idea,” Andy said in a weak voice as she exited the folder entitled ‘Dogs? Really?’ from her desktop. Andy was in full blown panic mode as she realized she had accidentally sent her latest fan fiction draft to the printer. As a teenager Andy had started writing fan fiction for Star Trek Voyager. The long nights awaiting the book revived the hobby and she recently added The Devil Wears Prada fandom to her repertoire. The book had just come out and was a big hit.

 _Dear Lord why couldn't it have been Janeway?_ she thought in horror. _What the hell is she going to think about Melissa Parsons falling in love with her assistant?_

As soon as Emily left on an errand Andrea pulled up instant messenger. _Thank God_ , she thought as she realized her friend and beta reader Lara was on line.

A-  
Shit save me! My latest fic got printed and given to Miranda.

L-  
?

A-  
I accidentally printed off the first chapter of Dogs? and it was turned in to Miranda!

L-  
PPFTT! ROTFL! What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?

A-  
Don’t be stupid she’ll hide the body-no funeral!

 

Andrea shrunk the message box when she heard the familiar click of Miranda’s heals coming down the hall way.

“Andrea”

“Yes, Mrianda?”

“Get me Patrick” Her bosses voice was cool and demanding, no change from her usual demeanor.

“Yes, Miranda.”

For the rest of the week Andy was on tenterhooks waiting for the axe to fall. As she waited for the book Friday night she finally started to breath easy. She noticed a flashing on her screen.

L-  
Still alive?

A-  
She must not know who did it, or maybe she didn't get it. She hasn't said anything.

L-  
You dodged a bullet there kidlet!

A-  
IKR-Book’s here ttfn.

* * *

 

Andy turned from the dry cleaning closet to place the book on the table and almost fainted. Sitting where the book was about to sit was a large manilla envelope with her name on it. She reached out her hand and pulled it back three times before should could force herself to replace the envelope with the book. She stood rooted to the spot for several minutes and then turned to leave on shaking legs.

* * *

  
Sitting at her kitchen table Andy stared at the envelope as if it were about to bite her. She was sure that it contained termination papers and felt sick to her stomach. _I guess I am glad she waited, at least I still have my dignity._ Tears began falling down her face as she finally opened the envelope and pulled out a large sheaf of papers. Her expression turned from fearful to surprise as she realized she was looking at a copy of her story. A copy of her story covered in post it notes.

On top was a message in Miranda’s familiar hand:

Andrea-  
I have no idea why you thought giving this to me would be appropriate. Based on the state of it I am assuming you are requesting the editorial help that you sorely need. You may leave your corrected manuscript with the book on Monday.  
MP

Andy gazed at the remarks which were correcting the many spelling and punctuation errors that she had not yet corrected. _If I had known you were going to read it the corrections would already have been made. It’s a rough draft, for God’s sake!_ In her minds eye she heard Miranda’s dry response, _Yes I can see that, a **very** rough draft._

Andy pulled out her computer and began to implement Miranda’s changes. She was embarrassed by all of the minor corrections but amazed at the thought that went in to the comments on each of the numbered post its.

1\. Change Dog’s World to Cat Fancy, circulation 200,000. The article should be on Siamese cats. David doesn't like dogs.

2\. Threaten death not maiming for the incredibly immature email addresses. Obviously they are bad enough to warrant it. I hope they aren't real examples of  your   Foolishness!

3\. Amanda should pay for the second lunch.

Not only did Miranda make small suggestions but even inserted an entire paragraph. Andy was amazed at her expansion of the Nigel and Emily modeled characters and the addition of a subplot referencing Melissa’s past assignation with a woman. Andy pondered why Miranda would create a tale of Melissa loosing her lover to a gay bashing. Then she pondered the idea of Melissa with a female lover. Her skin became hot as she considered what the add-on might tell about Miranda’s own life. Andy’s eyes glassed over as a favorite fantasy of Miranda came to mind. The image of the stunning woman pushing her against the office door drifted across her brain. _Nope don't go their Sachs, you have to be able to look her in the eye tomorrow!_

Point four was Andy’s favorite

4\. I am glad to see you did your own research on Cerulean Blue but I think using the word mean to describe Melissa is rather pedestrian. Evil genius would be much more accurate. Clearly Lauren was paying close attention during that meeting. I should probably sue her for plagiarism! Imagine how far she would get if that wasn't the one and only day she wasn't incompetent. Really, she was the epitome of idiocy.

While researching this story Andy discovered that the speech which humiliated her on her first day at Runway was pure fiction. Andy laughed remembering Miranda’s reaction to her life's work being referred to as stuff. The balls that Lauren showed by quoting her diatribe word for word amazed and amused Andy. The temptation to call Melissa a mean evil genius was strong but Andy resisted.

After correcting and saving the document Andrea noticed that Lara was on line.

A-  
She knew it was me.

L-  
What happened?

A-  
She left it out on the table when I delivered the book.

L-  
Are you fired?

A-  
No

L-  
Just no?

A-  
She betaed it, the whole thing was marked up in red and covered in post it notes! She fucking betaed it!

***

It was several minutes before a response arrived.

L-  
Andy, it’s Jane. Why is my wife lying on the floor laughing?

A-  
Because she is mean.

L-  
I don’t think she can breath.

A-  
Good

L-  
Shit, I think I need to call 911!  
***

 

TBC Next back to the start from Miranda’s point of view.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Miranda sat down at her desk expecting to review her magazine’s budget prior to the monthly meeting. Instead she was faced with what appeared to be an unsolicited article on dogs. _Why the hell is someone giving me an article on dogs?_ She glared at the paper thinking, _if this is another Cruella parody someone is going to die._ She was preparing to berate Emily for the arrival of such a document when she noticed the name Melissa Parsons in the text.

 _Oh joy The Devil Wears Prada too_ , she thought as she recognized the fictional editors name, _It’s a crossover!_ Miranda rolled her eyes at herself. _I cant believe I know what that means!_ She put her hand to her head realizing tomorrow was Wednesday, or hell night as she routinely thought of Wednesday now. Ever since her children had found fan fiction she spends Wednesday evenings editing their work. Ahead of her was several hours of teen angst as she read and corrected stories highlighting the dating habits of wizards and vampires. Miranda cringed at the idea that someone might find out that she was what her children called a beta reader for Harry Potter and Twilight fan fiction.

Miranda pulled her self from her dread of the evening to come and looked back down at the document in hand. After just a few more lines she realized it really was fan fiction, Devil Wears Prada fan fiction. It didn’t take long to see that it was centered around Amanda, the fictional representation of her actual assistant Andrea. Miranda threw back her head in mirth, her laughter ringing out through the office. _Oh my, I wonder if the evil editor is going to cause problems for her little assistant’s love interest._ After another page the world’s most over qualified beta reader gasped in surprise. _Oh my, the evil editor is the little assistant’s love interest!_ Suddenly Miranda found fan fiction to be much more interesting than she had previously believed.

Emily arrived in her office a half hour later with the actual budget report and Miranda got back to her job. From time to time she glanced out of her office door to see Andrea looking rather distraught. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the story had landed on her desk in error. Andrea’s face, witch was rather green, was a dead give away that she was the author. _Another assistant with a crush, just what I need_. Miranda had dealt with dozens of assistants who’s admiration had moved in to the realm of the romantic. _Budget first, silly little girls later_ , Miranda thought while she gathered her things and left for her budget meeting.

* * *

  
On the way back to Runway Miranda couldn't resist taking out her assistant’s little work and continue to read it. Old habits die hard and without even realizing what she was doing she pulled out her red pen and began to edit. After she finished her first read through Miranda put her head back on the seat and closed her eyes. It was clear that Andrea was using her, not Lauren’s fictional caricature of her, as the template for her story.

Miranda smiled as she realized how well her assistant actually knew her. _I swear that I’m laughing at my own jokes._ _I almost know what she is going to have Melissa say because it would be something I would say._ Miranda’s heart felt warm in her chest as she realized no one has ever paid attention to her as well as Andrea does. All of the little touches that Andrea added to her daily life suddenly took on a bigger meaning. The thought of the bright smile that greats her each morning made Miranda’s warm heart beat just a little faster. The realization of what it all might mean made her sit up straight in her seat and put the papers away. _Silly little girl_ , she thought and put anything but Runway right out of her mind.

* * *

 

As hard as she tried to stop it her mind kept returning to what she was calling Andrea’s little fic. Finally after she finished with the book Thursday night she gave in she pulled it out and read it again. In her mind she was discussing the work with its author. _No, no, no Andrea! You can’t have Melissa just starting to have those kinds of feelings with no back up. You need to add some history._

Miranda thought of her own history. At twenty she fell in love with a woman. She was surprised but felt loving Julie was worth what the future might bring. Julie however didn't think love was worth the risk. The brutal dumping that followed was gut wrenching. Fortunately for Miranda Julie married an up and coming politician, so there was no fear of an outing as Miranda herself became more well known. Miranda tapped her pen to her lip then smiled. _Revenge at last,_ she thought as she wrote a sad tale of Melissa Parsons first love, Julie, being a victim of a violent crime.

And so it went, _Really Andrea, if you are going to write about someone learn a little something about them first. David likes cats. You’ll have to change this to Cats? Really?_

_You are having her use Andybear as an email address? That is a ticket to the morgue not the hospital in my book._

Miranda couldn't help but grin every time she read about cerulean blue. She was pleased that Andrea hadn't taken it on faith and did some research for her story. Miranda had fond memories of Nigel laughing his head off when everyone else had left his office that day.

“Damn woman,” he crowed. “you are an evil genius! How in the hell did you come up with that right off the cuff?”

It was almost two in the morning before Miranda felt the story was acceptable. _Now that you have edited this to your satisfaction. What are you going to do with it?_ After a moment of contemplation Miranda wrote a note and put it all in a large envelope with Andrea’s name on it. She set it on the table in the entrance way and patted it affectionately. Miranda went off to bed grinning wondering what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

  
Miranda could see Andrea relaxing as Friday wore on. For the previous few days the younger woman had been extremely jumpy. Miranda could barely restrain herself from seeking up behind her and yelling boo. She actually let out a giggle when she thought of it. Having people witness that little break from the norm wouldn't have been so bad but Irv had just told a joke. Now the man was being insufferable with a delusion that he is actually funny.

* * *

 

From the upstairs landing Miranda watched her assistant’s struggle with her dry cleaning and then grinned as the girl had a bigger struggle with what was sitting where she would be placing the book. Miranda nodded with approval when Andrea finally straightened her back and took the envelope. When Andrea finally walked out the door Miranda’s face was graced with a smile of anticipation. She wondered if tomorrow she would continue to resist saying boo!

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occasionally Miranda slips in a little feed back that was given by the original beta of Cats?Really? So thanks Jazzy.
> 
> Thanks to Lara for the help with ‘Lara speak’ and beta
> 
> Thanks to Gin for beta
> 
> I asked for help for what jehc could stand for, it’s actually my initials. I got so many great answers I had to use several of them so thanks to: 
> 
> Diedre, Cerys, Patti, Megarah, Fiona and Astrid!  
> I hope I didnt leave anyone out!

 

**

A - OMG what is wrong with that woman!

L - ?

A - She flipping leaves me a note that she expects to see chapter two on Friday. Didn't anyone tell her I have a job? A job working for a tyrant who takes up almost every minute of my day!

L - So what’s the big deal? It is almost done. I just sent you back the beta’ed version.

A - Hell no! I have to rewrite the whole thing.

L - Hmm you know, if she is telling you to write it and she is your boss I think you have to take out the part of your disclaimer that says you aren't making any money doing this!

A-You are a real comedian. WTF am I going to do?

L - Give it to her, what’s the problem?

A - SEX!! It has sex in it. I can’t send her a story about us having sex.

A - Ah I mean Melissa and Amy…

L - Oh ho ho!! Jane owes me 25 quid!!! I told her you were writing a Mary Sue of epic proportions. Heh I knew you were totally gone on Miranda!!

A - Go to hell, I have a real problem here! I think I will end it with the kiss, that’s not too bad. I can still finish it and post it. She’ll never know there even is a third chapter.

L - You are such a prude. I am sure she can handle a little sex. I bet she has even had some ;)

A - This is sex with a WOMAN! I can’t send that to her.

L - I bet she has had some of that too!

A - Oh shit, even if I end it at the kiss I am fucking dead!

L - ?

A - The twins I wrote about the twins. She goes crazy if anyone mentions the twins!

L - Are they having sex?

A - NO!

L - Then take a chill pill, it’s fiction, remember? Make believe? You aren't reporting the news here.

A - Ok, it’s ok I’ll just tell her it’s done. She won’t know, it’ll be ok, thanks.

L- Why are you thanking me? You’re not taking my advice.

A - GTG she’ll be back in a few minutes and she is acting strange.

L - Strange how?

Andy didn't send an answer but her mind wandered to how the last few days had gone. Miranda walked in to the office spewing her usual demands to Emily but then added some suspiciously familiar extras.

“Call Patrick and confirm the shoot for Thursday. Have Roy ready to take me to the Versace show at two. Tell Nigel that I want an explanation as to why Robbie Meyers at Elle, circulation 26 million, got the scoop on that new designer Fred whatshisname.”

Emily never looked up from her note book but Andy almost tripped at the bizarre comment.

“There is an article in Birds and Blooms, circulation 1 million, get a landscaper to make my garden like that.”

Emily looked up wide eyed, “Like…” She blanched and choked back the question, “Yes, right, Birds and Blooms.”

Miranda glanced at Andy, her face completely blank.  
“Andrea, the girls want a Boa constrictor. Write an expose for them that outlines the responsibilities of such a pet, where to get them and the ethics of it all. Leave it with the book on Tuesday.”

Then she looked back to Emily and continued to outline her needs for the day.

The rest of the week was similar, every day Miranda would drop the name of other editors and the circulation of their magazines. It became so common place that Emily had a list of major magazines and their circulation in her notebook.

On Wednesday the editor walked into the office after lunch and Emily said, “Miranda, Ed Loh on line one, Motor Trend Magazine, circulation 1.2 Million.”

Miranda didn't mask her expression soon enough for Andy to miss the responding jaw drop. Her cough may have hidden her chuckle from Emily but to Andy it almost sounded like a full bellied laugh.

* * *

  
A - Ok I dropped it off. No more fan fiction at work! I can’t believe this week.

L - Did the girls like your snake story?

A - Are you joking? I doubt they even saw it, she gave it back to me with edits. The girls shouldn't be contaminated with less then perfect writing.

L - So now you can relax for the weekend. Why not work a little on your OUaT fic to get your mind off things.

A - Relax? Relax! Do you know who I work for?

L - Umm Miranda Priestly?

A - Yes, Miranda Priestly who’s daughters think they might want a neon stripe in their hair. Miranda Priestly who decided she wants her angels to have information on the social and employability implications of neon hair for people of different age groups on Tuesday!

* * *

 

Andy was sitting at the table with her hands shaking as she read and re-read the feedback on chapter two of Cats? Really?. She put her head in her hands and groaned. She almost ignored the chirp from her computer that told her she had a message.

L - You there?

A - Yes

L - Did she leave the chapter?

A - Yes

L - So tell me already?

A - Ummm

L - Ok, so you’re upset. Tell me what’s wrong.

A - She wants sex!

L-Who?

A-Miranda, she wants sex!

L - Sex? Really?

A - Yes, really!

L - Wow, are you going to?

A - Don’t be stupid, of course I am. I don't exactly have another job lined up.

L - Sheesh I thought you’d be more excited. I mean you've had the hots for her for a while. Are you nervous or something?

A - What?

L - OH come on! You can't deny it you’ve wanted her for like ever.

A - OMG she doesn’t want sex with me! She wants it in the story and she wants it on Friday.

L - Oh, well then, it’s a good thing it is already written lol.

A - You’re telling me! Along with chapter 3 she wants a report on Tuvalu. Apparently Cassy doesn't have time to do her homework and her economics class is doing projects on the world’s smallest countries.

L - So what did she say?

A - Oh all kinds of things, for example I need to contact Meryl Streep to do a DWP parody in Runway.

L - No Shit! You mean like in your fic?

Andy looked down at the post it note covered story. This time Andy had been prepared for Miranda’s editing and had made sure there was very little need for the red pen. In spite of that Miranda still had many suggestions.

1 Don’t make her nick-name Missy. Per the book, her childhood name was Miriam, so her nick name would have been a variation of that, use Meri.

2 Call Creative Artists Agency and get Meryl for the June cover. Follow up with Anne too.

3 There is no Jungle Cafe in NYC they should go to Ellen’s Stardust Diner.

L - Are you still there?

A - She told me she was sure that I was not actually planning to end the story with this chapter. She said she was very familiar with my writing and it would be out of character for me to stop there.

L - What? She figures she knows about your fan fiction style because she read your article on boa constrictors?

A - No, somehow she got my account name from ao3.

L - SERIOUSLY???

Andy looked back down at her notes and read point four for about the tenth time. She could practically hear Miranda’s sarcastic tone.

4 I don’t believe you were going to end this here. Why should Janeway get her intimate moments and Melissa be denied hers? I have read Groves of Sintar so I know you can write the steamier side of things.

A - She’s read Groves and feels Melissa should have as much fun as Janeway.

L - No Shit! She read Groves!?

A - Yes and she wants to know what Jehc stands for!

L - I have wondered that myself actually. What does it stand for? Wait let me guess, Janeway's Everyone's Hot Captain.

A – NO!

L - Janeway Eviscerates Holographic Chakotay? Janeway Explores Heavenly Curves? Oh, wait how about Janeway Explains Human Copulation?

A - Would you believe Joyous Easter Happy Christmas?

L - Maybe if you weren't Jewish.

A - Oh right, well help me think of something else.

L - Why not just tell her the truth? Oh and tell me too.

A - Because I was seven-teen, you know that age when you think romantic and crass is cool.

L - Oh so it is something like Janeway Embraces Hot Curves or Janeway Eats Hanson Continuously? Wait I think it’s Janeway Has Edible Curves;)

A - Don’t be a jerk it’s not that bad, just embarrassing.

L – Sooo???

A - Just Embrace Her, Captain!

L - Lord save me from Ohioans! I think you need to look up crass in the dictionary, that’s actually kind of sweet.

A - Whatever, I think I am going with Just Eat Healthy Choices.

L - Sure, I can see her falling for that, NOT.

Andy looked down at her post-it-note covered fic and read the final part of note four. ‘It is clear you were young when you wrote Groves of Sintar, but honestly Andrea, get a beta.’

**Next up back to the top. MP finds out about ao3 and tells AS to include sex


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purpose of this story Caroline and Casidy are 15. They were younger then this in Cats? Really? But unlike this, that was fiction!
> 
> Special thanks to RedBlackandLights for her review which provided verbiage I couldn't help but steal.
> 
> Thanks to Gin and Lara for their help.

**

Once in the safety of her car Miranda broke into a grin, she had just experienced the most pleasant work day in years. The look on Andrea’s face when she started spewing circulation numbers was priceless, well worth the time it took to look them up. Her good mood lasted right through the evening culminating in a dessert of ice cream shared with her girls.

“So Bobbsies I want to know more about your little writing club. How many people are in it?”

Both girls looked at their mother with brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” Caroline spoke up. “We aren't in a writing club.”

“I am talking about your fan fiction club. How many people do you send your stories to once they are written?”

Cassidy giggled and Caroline rolled her eyes. “Mom, we don't email them, we post them. We put them on line and other people in the fandom read them.”

“Ok,” Miranda huffed. “How many people are in your fandom, whatever that is?”

“Writers or readers?” Caroline asked.

“Both I guess.”

“Harry Potter or Twilight?” Cassidy inquired.

“Both,” Miranda said shrugging.

Cassidy looked at her twin, “So about a million you think?”

Miranda’s eyes widened in shock.

“You’re nuts,” Caroline replied. “Both readers and writers in both fandoms a couple of million at least!”

“You're saying that a million people read those stories you write?”

“Nah probably only a few thousand have read ours.” Cassidy said. Both girls were looking excited that their mother was actually talking to them about their hobby, not just forcing herself to edit it.

“Right,” Caroline said. “People sort through things to read what they like, you know pairing, rating, themes and stuff.”

The fact that Miranda didn't flinch at the word stuff was a good indication of how overwhelmed she was.

“Parings?”

It only took a few minutes for Cassidy to run off and get her computer and pull up fanfiction.net.

“Look this is where we post our stories.”

And so began an evening of fan fiction 101 at the Priestly town house.

Just as Miranda felt like she was getting a handle on it all Caroline said, “I prefer Archive of Our Own, AO3. It’s much easier to fix an error if you notice one after you post.”

“Caroline, are you saying you find mistakes in things I have edited?” Miranda said arching an eyebrow in question.

“Umm..no.”

“So you are posting things that I haven't read?”

Caroline shrugged. Miranda studied her daughter, she could tell she was worried that Miranda will discover some secret that she was keeping.

“Are you writing in a different fandom?”

Caroline nodded.

“Darling why are you acting like you have done something wrong? You don't have to share everything you do with me, but now I am worried. Are you writing something that you are ashamed of?”

“No,” Caroline said sharply. “It’s just another fandom, you wouldn't be interested.”

“While it is true I am rather enamored of wizards and vampires,” Miranda said sardonically, “I am willing to branch out.”

Caroline turned to the computer and pulled up her page on Archive of Our Own.

“I like to write stories about Once Upon a Time.”

“That’s the show you girls were watching last night about the fairy tale characters that live in Maine?”

Both girls nodded.

Miranda studied the open page.

“Your screen name is The Queens Swan?”

Caroline nodded. Miranda continued to read. With her new knowledge she was able to recognize what she was seeing and quickly understood her daughter’s fears.

“Let’s see if I have learned enough to figure this out.” She clicked on the first story, it was titled ‘When a Curse is a Blessing’. She looked at the heading, summery and author’s notes. “Would I be correct in saying you.” she gave her daughter a gentle smile as she tried out a new phrase, “Ship Emma and Regina?”

Caroline winced and mumbled ‘SwanQueen’ under her breath.

“What was that darling?”

“SwanQueen, you call it SwanQueen when you ship them.”

“I see, and you don't want me to know this for some reason?” Miranda glanced at Cassidy who got the message and left the room.

“I don’t know.” Caroline said not looking up.

Miranda pulled her daughter on to her lap like she did when Caroline and Cassidy were small. She kissed her cheek remembering a time when she would have been able to reach the top of her head. The young woman wiggled to get comfortable, at 15 her legs were touching the ground.

“You have a right to your private thoughts and feelings but if you want to share them I’ll listen.”

“So you don't mind?” Caroline asked tentatively. “You don’t mind if I…” Her voice petered out, clearly she was not sure how to continue.

“I have raised you with certain values and I expect you to adhere to them. I expect you to be the person I raised you to be. Whether the person you share that with is a male or female is not an issue.”

“But what if I change my mind, if I can’t decide?”

“Oh, darling don't decide, don't ever decide! Live your life and let yourself fall in love. It’s the right person you want to find not the right gender.”

“So you won’t mind if it is a girl?”

“Not if you love her I won’t.” Miranda paused then said quietly, “What about me if I fall in love with a woman would you mind?”

Caroline’s eyes widened at the thought. She could tell by her mother’s tone that she was not joking, the blank look on her mom’s face indicated that she was as scared as Caroline had been just a few moments earlier.

“Well,” she answered, “just make sure she’s worth it because the press will really suck!”

Miranda laughed, “Ditto to you darling.” She then looked up at the ceiling. “Cassidy, as I am sure you are at the vent listening, do you have anything you need to talk about?”

“Nope,” She hollered back in response. “I like boys, so you two don't have to worry about the competition!”

Leaving the room Caroline looked back and asked, “Have you ever..um..”

Miranda arched an eyebrow not willing to finish the question for her.

“Have you ever, well, not decided with a girl?”

Miranda smiled gently and nodded in the affirmative. Caroline left smiling as if the weight of the world was off her shoulders.

Once she was alone Miranda began to search ao3 to find if there were other stories Andrea might have written. She soon realized without a screen name it would be a fruitless endeavor. After a moment she grinned what Nigel called her ‘evil grin’ and did a little different research.

*****

Miranda checked the notecard she had tucked in her pocket just before the elevator doors opened at Runway. She wanted to make sure she had the information ready to throw out a few more circulation numbers. It had become a game to see how often she could include them in front of Andrea.

Both assistants were waiting at attention when their boss exited the elevator. She handed Emily the book and Andrea her edited article on Boa Constrictors. “Update this, honestly Andrea,” She said with exasperation as she handed her the article. “You don't expect me to allow my girls to read it in the shape it is in.”

After a few more instructions to Emily, Miranda glanced back to Andrea.

“My ex-husband has presented my daughters with a new step-sister.”

She rolled her eyes at the thought.

“The girls are enthralled with the toddler, send her a subscription to Disney Princess, Redan Publishing, Fun to Learn division, reaches 2 million readers per year, as a gift from them.”

“Yes, Miranda,” Andy practically choked out the words.

“Caroline thinks her hair would look lovely in rainbow colors. You will provide her information on the social and employment implications of neon hair for people of different age groups on Tuesday.”

Andrea nodded her head sharply.

It was becoming difficult for Miranda to pretend that her feelings for Andrea weren't more then what they should be for an employee. The morning perusal of her clothing choice was a case in point. Miranda felt her heart beat quicken while she ran her eyes over the younger woman’s ensemble. It was with deep consternation that she realized it always had. This morning when she unconsciously licked her lips the result was startling. Andrea’s thin bra and shirt could not cover her nipples hardening at the gesture.

 _‘I guess if there was any doubt of her attraction to me the **headlights on** reaction puts them to bed.’_ Miranda found herself squeezing her thighs as the word bed crossed her mind. _'I guess it goes both ways'._

After Emily had announced Motor Trend’s circulation, Miranda was almost unable to finish her conversation with it’s editor, Ed Loh. She actually had to turn to the window so she could chuckle unwitnessed. As the day wore on she discovered that all of her staff, excepting Andrea, had developed what was basically a mass verbal tic.

Nigel stopped her in the hall way after the morning run-through.

“Did you know that last month Teen Runway completely overtook Teen Vogue, circulation 1,011,000?”

Miranda stared at him and then without comment turned on her heel and marched in to her office. She held her hand in the air so no one would dare speak to her. The stony faced editor turned to close her door and caught a knowing sparkle in Andrea’s eye, clearly sharing the joke. Miranda was able to delay her laughter until the door clicked shut but then she let loose, grateful for waterproof mascara.

***

Throughout the week Miranda found watching Andrea go from amused to petrified and back around again was fascinating. _‘I don't think I have had this much fun at work since….never.’_

After a late meeting with Irv Miranda walked quietly back in to her outer office. The click click of her heels was absent as a result of her slower pace. Due to her silent entrance Andrea did not notice her boss’ arrival until she heard her quiet command from behind.

“Go see when the book will be ready.”

Andrea jumped and then reached for her phone.

“Yes, Miranda.”

Miranda reached over Andrea’s shoulder and placed her hand over Andrea’s to stop her from lifting the receiver. In a low sultry voice she whispered in her ear, “I said go, not call”

Andrea jumped as if her chair had been electrified before she pulled her hand out from under Miranda’s and practically ran through the door. As Miranda expected the panicked woman didn't lock her computer screen. Sitting down in her assistant's chair Miranda pulled up the active chat that Andrea had hidden as soon as she knew her boss was behind her.

L- I sent it back but I still think you are making a mistake.

A- My mistake to make.

L-Ok well if I don't hear from you Monday i’ll call the Feds.

A-lol

Miranda studied the exchange sure that it was fan fiction related. She thought for a moment what do and then she tried to channel one of her clackers.

A-Hey you’re Andy’s beta right?

L-?

A-Andy had to run off for She Who Must Not Be Named. I’m watching the phone.

Miranda smiled, she wasn't _**technically**_ lying

L- Better not let Andy hear you compare MP to Voldemort. She’d kick your ass all the way to Hogwarts.

Miranda’s heart warmed at the idea of Andrea as her protector.

A-Good point, listen I want to read some of her ff but she’ll tease me if I tell her. What’s her screen name on a03?

L-If she won’t tell you why should I? Is this Emily?

Miranda thought about all the text talk she had seen her daughters do as she formulated her answer.

A-OMG I don’t think Emily could read anything that isn't glossy with haute couture on it, lol!

L-What’s your favorite fandom? Pairing?

Miranda thanked the universe for her chat with Caroline.

A-Once Upon A Time-SwanQueen.

L-What’s your name?

A- Miriam, sometimes I help with the phones but I usually work in another office. Come on she’ll be back soon. Please?

L-OKay, okay, don't get your knickers in a twist. Her handle is JEHC-but you better delete this conversation so you don't get your ass kicked for dissing MP and I don't get mine kicked for giving Andy up.

A-Will do.

Miranda deleted and erased the conversation as she clicked her tongue at the gullibility of some people.

****

 _‘Alone at last,_ ’ Miranda thought as she sat down with a glass of Moscato and her lap top. ' _All right Andrea let’s take a look.’_ She was quickly able to find JEHC’s home page and was surprised that all of Andrea’s stories were Star Trek Voyager. She studied the titles and tags as the girls had taught her and realized Andrea was into a Janeway/Seven of Nine pairing. _‘Now I understand why Caroline thinks that four, five and six were the best seasons and the final episode made her stomp around enraged.’_ Miranda thought to herself in amusement.

She studied the page to try and discover why Andrea used JEHC as her screen name. With no luck she decided to just read something. Looking over the list of stories Miranda wasn't sure where to start. She studied the statistics and the descriptions. _Most Kudos are ‘Groves of Sintar' and ‘Hard Truths’._ She thought, _‘Oh well let’s just see what one would find in the ‘Groves of Sintar.’_

***

Once again Miranda found herself at the top of her stairs as she watched her assistant drop off the book and her little fic. As soon as the front door closed Miranda snatched up her prizes and strode to the study. It took the utmost discipline to tackle the book first, but Miranda was nothing if not disciplined. She spent an hour bemoaning the incompetence of her staff then set the book aside and pulled out Andrea’s story. After the first read through she shook her head saying, "Ending with a kiss? No, no, no this will never do." And with red pen, post-it-notes and an almost ferrel grin the boss from hell gleefully became the beta from hell.

Next up-What happens when Andy complies with MP's directive to include sex


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I can say hand on heart that my Lara has never made me cry or been mean to me in any way....at least not yet. 
> 
> Thanks to Lara and Gin for their help and their immediate response to my read it now or I will pee myself with anticipation beta requests!

* * *

 

Monday night came and went with no manuscript. After a whole weekend of stressful waiting it seemed that Andy was in for more. By Thursday Andy was wound tighter than a three day clock.

L-So?

A-Nothing.

L-What the hell is going on with her?This is killing me.

A-You? It's killing you?

L-Well yea, ‘cause I worry about you and Jane isn't there to call 911!

A-She has been acting a little strange.

L-?

A-It’s strange because she isn't acting strange. Everything is back the way it was except for the little twitches of an almost smile when someone does the circulation thing.

L-No new essays for the kids?

A-Nope

L-Maybe tomorrow, maybe she needed another week and it will all be over tomorrow.

***  
Andy’s hands were shaking when she pulled up instant messenger. She wasn't actually sure if she was glad or not glad that Lara was on line.

A-You were right it is all over. She gave me the story back.

L-Did she like it?

Andy’s tears were falling fast and furious as she tried to type unable to see the screen.

A-I quit.

L-So she didn't like it and you aren't going to finish it?

A-I don’t know if she liked it, I haven't looked yet. I quit!

L-Ummm are we still talking about the story?

Andy couldn't even read Lara’s response through her tears.

L-Andy?

It didn't take a beta to read between those lines. When Andy didn't answer Lara hit video chat. They didn't use it very often but Andy’s settings allowed Lara instant access.

“Andy? Andy look at me.”

Andy looked up slowly, her tear ravaged face practically broke Lara’s heart.

“I quit, today I quit, Friday is my last day at Runway.”

“Kidlet, if it is making you so sad why did you do it?” Lara asked gently.

“She made me,” Andy took a deep breath. “She made me sign a letter of resignation.”

“Oh ruddy hell!” Lara barked out. “Miriam was right she is Voldemort!”

“Dont' call her that, she isn't like that, at least she didn't fire me.”

“No she didn’t.” Lara said her voice a low growl. “She made you quit which means your aren't eligible for unemployment benefits or any other type of compensation. It was a totally shitty thing for her to do!”

“It’s not like that, I won’t need anything.” Andy’s sobbing was receding and she looked at Lara petulantly. “Don’t call her names.”

“Okay, Okay,” Lara held up her hands in surrender. “Why don't you tell me exactly what happened?”

“She called me in to her office first thing and told me not to wait for the book tonight because it will be sent electronically. Then she pointed to an envelope on her desk. She told me it was the little project we were working on and I could correct the edits this weekend.”

“She actually handed it to you?” Lara asked incredulously. “She has never even mentioned it at work before.”

Andy nodded and her voice started to choke up. “I was leaving but she told me to stop and we sat down at the table in her office, there were other folders on the table. She pushed the top one over to me.” Andy had her hand over her eyes as she choked out, “It was a letter of resignation back dated to Monday.”

“What! She actually wrote it for you and made you sign it?”

Andy let out a bitter chuckle, “It is probably the most well written two weeks notice ever seen at Runway.”

Lara raised her eyebrows as she responded sarcastically. “I bet it is the only letter of resignation ever received at Runway.”

***

Andy relayed the scene as it had happened. “You want me to quit?” Her voice was a whisper laced with pain.

“Of course you must, you silly girl.”

Miranda’s tone and look were no different then her usual demeanor.

“We can’t continue to work together with this between us.” The editor tapped the manuscript in front of Andy.

“But you made me write it. You told me I had to end it this way!”

“Yes,” Miranda responded dryly. “I did tell you to write it. The issue is not that you followed my instructions, but that you could follow them as well as you did.”

Her blue eye bore into Andy’s as she tapped the paper. “Sign.” After she did, Miranda pulled the folder back across the table and pushed another towards her soon to be former assistant. “Read these and sign them if you are willing.”

Andy’s jaw almost hit the floor as she saw what was in the second folder for her, four contracts.

“Wait,” Lara interrupted. “She made you sign more contracts. What the hell, you had already quit. She couldn't make you do anything else.”

“No, its-“ Andy was trying to stop Lara before she got up to full steam.

“Let me guess, another non-disclosure agreement. Is she afraid you will sue her for sexual harassment by fan fiction? Freaking evil wizard that she is!”

Andy’s weeping was now down to a snivel. She shook her head and grabbed a tissue.

“They were publishing contracts, she sold my articles. I had to sign them to get paid.”

“Holy shit, Let me get this straight, she made you quit because you wrote some sexy times that she assigned you to write. Then she took three other things that she assigned you to write and acted as your agent?”

Andy nodded, her face a picture of misery.

“So basically, for the last month, you’ve been taking a private journalism class taught by the most powerful woman in publishing?”

Andy nodded.

“Why the hell are you crying? You are leaving a job you never wanted with what equates to the biggest possible Miranda Priestly stamp of approval on your forehead.”

“I am leaving her,” Andy jumped up yelling. “Don't you fucking get it!? I won’t be with her. Someone else will see her every day but not me, not me.” She sat down and started sobbing again.

“Oh Kidlet I am so sorry you are sad, but you know its obvious that she does care for you on some level. Honestly she knows you are meant for more than being a coffee go-for. Don't you see that she is taking care of you?”

“I know” she hiccuped. “It’s just I don't care about that. I love her so much I want to be near her. Even if I am just a go-for I would get to see her every day. I thought after she read Cats? she might finally notice me.”

Lara put her hand over her eyes as she prayed to the fem-slash gods to forgive her for what she was about to say.

“Andy you can’t spend your life hanging on the fringes of hers. You know it couldn't happen even if she did notice you. Imagine what the press would say, what they would call her, what they would call you. Can you see her giving up her life’s work even for love? And there are the twins to consider, imagine the effect a circus like that would have on them.”

Lara took a deep breath.

“She has two kids, three ex-husbands and an entire industry on her back. It looks fine in fan fiction but this is real life. Don't confuse the two Sweetie, it will only cause you heartache.”

“I know that here,” Andy pointed to her head, “but not here.” She pointed to her heart. “If she had never gotten hold of this stupid story I wouldn't have to leave.”

“So are you going to finish it?” Lara asked hesitantly.

“Yea, I guess, she told me to bring it with me on Friday.” In spite of the ache in her heart Andy’s tears had dried up.

“When I was leaving she told me I would be a publishing legend.”

Lara laughed, “Because she could sell your boa constrictor article?”

“‘Don’t be daft,” Andy said sharply as her mind turned back to Miranda and the final exchange of the day.

 

“You Andrea are going to be a publishing legend.”

Andy shrugged her shoulders, not really sure how to reply to such a statement. Her mind was too numb with grief for any snappy comebacks.

“Look at me Andrea.” Miranda commanded gently.

“Your articles sold because they were good, not because I sold them, you will do well.” Miranda’s lips started to twitch with the secret smile that Andy loved.

“Your legend will come sooner though.” Miranda’s eyes were actually twinkling. “You will be the first assistant to ever work her two week’s notice in the history of Runway!”

Andy tried to grin as if this was amusing but it was a wasted effort.

“I am only working one week.”

Miranda nodded, “I thought actually working two would be hard for you.”

Obviously Miranda had decided to recognize Andy’s feelings for her.

“I back dated it so you would only have to work one. It won’t be hard for HR to believe I forgot to pass it on.”

Andy nodded tearing up again before whispering. “One week will still be hard.”

Miranda cleared her throat, it was obvious she was uncomfortable with Andy’s emotional display. She moved the conversation back to a less emotional topic. “You will be remembered for quitting yet having a career in the publishing industry. Your work speaks for its self but having an article in Runway after leaving my employ will shock everyone in both fashion and publishing.”

“Whoa, hold on there cowgirl!” Lara broke in. “One of those contracts was for Runway?”

Andy nodded, “She said that the DWP parody was my idea so she will have to pay me for it and let me write it.”

“Will you please tell me again why you are crying your eyes out? The woman is setting you up for life. She has made sure you have an entry to the career of your dreams and provided you the means to survive while you are looking for a job!”

“How many times do I have to tell you I. Don't. Care! I don’t care about News Week or Harpers I just care about Miranda.”

“What do News Week and Harpers have to do with this?” Lara shook her head in question.

“I have job interviews with them in the evenings. After work I’ll go to the interviews and then back to Runway to pick up the book. I'm waiting to hear from Rolling Stone and The Advocate too.” Andrea studied her hands and continued. “She updated my resume and sent it out.” Her voice hitched, “I guess she really wants me to leave.”

“Holy cow! Miriam is so amazingly wrong. The woman isn't Voldemort she’s Dumbledore!”

“Who is Miriam and why does she have an opinion on Miranda?”

“Oh you know the girl that takes the phones for you when you and Emily are both out. She asked for your a03 handle, I guess she hasn't told you she’s reading your fic’s”

“It was you! You sold me out!” Andy shouted, outraged. “There is no-one at Runway named Miriam.”

“Oh, then…”

“Miriam, Lara, Miriam, you did read the fucking book right?”

“Oh, shit!” Lara said and the video screen went blank.

After a few minutes Andy noticed the chat screen back up.

L-Sorry

A-It’s ok

L-Any thing I can do to help?

A-Yea, you have until Friday to figure out what jehc stands for, she didn't go for Just Make Healthy Choices

 

TBC What was Miranda thinking?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miranda's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate when writers post really short updates. I will not be able to look at myself in the mirror for weeks as a result of this chapter's length. Gin warned me but I am doing it anyway because well this is all I have to say. If I were to do a longer update it would mean waiting for me to finish the next chapter and I am sooo not that patient.
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the awesome comments you have been making!
> 
> Thanks to Gin and Lara for their help.
> 
> And thanks to my brother Brad for saving me $200 on a hot water tank which makes me happy and therefore able to write better!

 

***

Miranda watched from the landing above the stairs while Andrea left her burdens on the hall table. Her heart squeezed in her chest when she recognized the envelope containing Cats?Really?. Andrea had followed her directive, writing the final scene. In doing so she put an end to her time at Runway. How could I possibly allow her to stay knowing her feelings for me? How could I possibly continue pretending they are not reciprocated?

Miranda placed the manila folder on her desk and went over the book for about ten minutes before accepting that no work would be done this night. She stared thoughtfully at the book in hand and then grinning evilly she called her assistant Emily.

“Yes, Miranda?” Miranda rolled her eyes at Emily’s obsessive use of caller ID.

“I have a headache,” Miranda said without preamble. Emily did not respond so Miranda repeated herself. “Emily, are you listening? I have a headache.”

“Yes, Miranda,” the woman said hesitantly. “I’ll bring you some Tylenol.”

“No, I would like you to come and pick up the book.”

“Yes, Miranda,” she could almost feel Emily’s angst as she fought with the need to respond without asking an actual question. “I’ll take it to Nigel then?”

“No, you keep it.”

Emily’s voice was timid as she gave in and asked, “What shall I do with it?”

Miranda faked a big huff as her lips quivered in mirth.

“Look at it and root out incompetence! What else would you do with it? Honestly!” She continued her voice laced with exasperation. “It’s not a coloring book.” Miranda waited for half a beat and then said, “That’s all.”

Sitting back at her desk Miranda took a few moments to enjoy the panic she had created in her soon to be only assistant. She had been planning to groom the woman for more than her present role and Andrea’s leaving was not going to get in the way of that. Based on her education and experience Emily was a very over qualified assistant.

Miranda reached for the manila envelope containing the story that started her current mess. After holding it for a moment she placed in her desk drawer. _Are you really ready to know what she thinks your fifty year old self would do in bed?_

After closing her eyes and sighing a deep sigh that must have originated somewhere in her toes, Miranda pulled up a Word document and began to type Andrea’s resignation. She dated the letter for Monday, giving two week’s notice. Miranda then used flowery terms to praise herself as a mentor and employer. She grinned through her lightly falling tears, knowing that someday Andrea would laugh at her presumption.

Once that unpleasant task was done Miranda attached a copy of each of the articles Andrea had written and sent them off to magazine editors most likely to benefit from the opportunity to use them. Her emails introduced Andrea as her prodigy and asked them to consider her work. What had started as a lark became an opportunity to help the young woman start a successful new life away from Runway, away from Miranda.

After another few moments of reflection a gentle smile graced Miranda’s face and another tear fell from her eye as she thanked whoever put all the applications that came to Elias Clark on line. It only took a little while to edit and update Andrea’s resume. When she was finished Miranda put her head in her hands and thought about the lucky editor that would replace her in Andrea’s life. Once again she gave a glowing description of Andrea as her prodigy and requested that they review her application. Knowing there was nothing else she could do to help the young woman she went to bed with a heavy heart.

***

Monday at Runway could be best described as twitchy. Emily was shaking as she handed Miranda the book covered in post-it-notes. Everyone was still adding circulation numbers when ever they mentioned a magazine, not seeming to notice that Miranda had stopped doing the same. Maybe if there wasn't a resignation for Andrea in her top drawer she would have found Andrea’s inability to look her in the eye amusing. Miranda didn't tell her she hadn't yet read the new chapter and Andrea spent most of the day a lovely shade of pink.

After spending the first part of her morning reviewing the book Miranda called her first assistant in to her office.

“Emily”

“Yes Miranda?” She looked petrified as she entered the office and stopped in front of her boss’ desk.

“Take this to production to make the changes.” She handed the book to Emily.

The younger woman looked at it and noticed it was still covered in the notes she left with just a few additions. Before she could turn to leave Miranda continued in her trademark low eviscerating tone, “This is completely unacceptable.”

Emily looked like she was going to cry.

“I am sorry,” she said her voice low and husky. She cringed as she realized that she had just compounded her sins by breaking the no apology rule.

“As you should be! Have you ever seen me use anything but a red pen for this?” She nodded at the book.

“No?” Emily replied uncertainly.

“Don’t make that mistake again! She shook her head in disgust and continued, “Honestly!”

“I..I..right, red pen.”

Miranda managed a haughty, “That’s all,” before she turned to the window so Emily could not see her grin. Really that child is just too easy. Her good humor only lasted long enough to turn around and see Andrea working diligently at her desk, Andrea who quit this morning and didn't even know it.

With the ghost written resignation on her desk Miranda called her second assistant into her office. Once Andrea was standing across from her Miranda was at a loss for words. She was shocked to hear “The twins need a pedicure” come out of her mouth.

Coward, she thought after Andrea had left her office.

A few hours later she tried again. “Andrea we need to talk about…” Miranda’s hand moved over the resignation and covered it. She was holding the document down as if it were going to jump up and hand itself to Andrea.

“Patrica, we need to discuss Patrica.”

Andrea nodded to show she was paying attention.

“The girls tell me her breath is atrocious, call the vet for a teeth cleaning and annual check-up. Send her to the groomer as well.”

Wimp, rang through her mind as Miranda watched Andrea go back to her desk.

It was a long week of calling Andrea in to her office and then sending her back out with a quickly thought up task. As a result of her ambivalence, by the end of the week, Andrea had arranged for the girls to have mani-pedis, new video game consoles were sent to the children of every member of her family and a Miranda Priestly scholarship was created for the NY School of Design. When she realized that all of the blinds at Runway were switched from horizontal to vertical Miranda understood she had finally gone too far.

On the upside all of Andrea’s articles were quickly accepted. David Fricke, editor of Rolling Stone, responded with a personal email.

Miranda-  
Thank you for Ms Sach’s article, it will work well for us. Feel free to give her my direct contact information if she would like to offer future submissions. Of course if you are planning to continue as her agent I am delighted to work with you. I wouldn't want to infringe upon your commission, I am fond of Patricia and would hate to see her go hungry.  
David

David’s humor and the knowledge that Andrea was on her way to success finally gave Miranda the strength to do what she needed to do. At the end of the day on Friday she brought Andrea into her office and proceeded to break both their hearts.

 

TBC  
Next up Andrea and Lara deal with the final week.


	7. Chapter 7

Andy had barely signed on to messenger when a ping from Lara appeared.

L-So?

A-What?

L-Don’t be daft! How was your day?

A-Oh you mean the first fucking day of my last fucking week at Runway. You mean that day?

L-Umm that bad?

A-I..Well it was sad but Miranda was…

L-Was what?

A-She was actually kind of a riot, I finally figured her out. Most of the shit she does is a total goof on all of us. It’s like she is so smart that she is bored and she amuses herself by scaring people.

L-So she doesn't really care if her coffee is hot?

A-Oh hell yeah she does! But the other stuff, all the ‘figure out what I want without my help’ shit, it’s just for her entertainment.

L-Oookkkaaay, so what happened today? Do people know you are leaving?

A-Emilly had a fit!

Andy had to hold back a giggle as she thought about Emily’s hard day. Miranda had carelessly announced that Andrea was leaving and then breezed out of the office as if she had announced nothing more important than her lunch order. As soon as Miranda’s heels could no longer be heard clicking down the hall Emily had rounded on Andrea.

“You bloody cow!” The woman had been actually yelling. “You are working out the second week of your notice and I only find out about it now! What the hell is the matter with you?” After she had taken a deep breath Emily continued, “You bleeding selfish brat do you know how much work you are making for me!”

“Emily.”

Both women had jumped as they heard Miranda’s voice from behind them.

“If you want to succeed in life you need to learn to lower not raise your voice.”

“Yes, Miranda,” Emily had said, her voice quaking, as she turned to look at her boss.

L-She is such a jerk I wish Miranda would just let her have it.

A-Oh she did and it was really awful, awesomely awful.

L-?

A-She made her repeat the entire tirade word for word until Miranda thought she had the tone right!

L-OMG!!

A-Three times!

L-phftt

A-Oh it gets better!

After Miranda had deemed Emily understood her lesson in tone Miranda upbraided her for her overall attitude.

“Maybe if you treat the next assistant better then you have in the past you won’t be facing such a trial. How do you expect anyone to learn to do their job with half- baked instructions and no rest?”

L-No way SHE DID NOT SAY THAT!

A-Oh yeah, see a total goof.

L-Was Emily mortified?

A-Shit yes and now comes the best part. She looked Miranda straight in the face and said, “Pot meet Kettle.’’

When Emily realized what she had said all color drained from her face. Andy had been sure the Brit was about to pass out. Miranda had then silently locked eyes with the younger woman and after letting her stew for a moment reached out and patted her on the cheek.

“Well, Emily you have finally found the women’s section of the La Perla catalogue.” Miranda’s voice was low and silky. After another short stare down she said, “So pull up your new big girl panties and find me a new assistant!”

J-Holy shit did she like die?

A-Where did Lara go?

J-It’s me.

A-?

J-I umm spewed my coffee.

A-?

J-All over my cat.

A-?

J-She tried to get out of the way and knocked over a vase.

A-Lol let me guess, the vase broke and spilled water on your computer.

J-Yup, and Jane want’s her ‘ puter back now too.

A-Ok I have to work on my training list. I am leaving detailed instructions for my replacement.

J-Ouch!!

L-Yeah.

*****  
On Tuesday evening Lara was clearly concerned about her friend. Her quick response to Andy's sign on indicated that she was waiting with a message already typed.

L-Hey, you ok? How did it go?

A-Oh my God, welcome to day two in the Twilight Zone!

L-Strange then?

A-She has given up on me defining JEHC.

L-That’s good right?

A-No, because now she is trying to guess!

L-phft, he he he-Wait I have to put the cat out. Jane will be on a rampage if you make me ruin another computer!

L-Ok, so tell me, is she even close?

A-Not yet.

When Andy had brought in the first morning coffee Miranda floored her by once again asking for the meaning of JEHC. Andy no longer felt frightened by her mercurial boss. Her new found knowledge of Miranda’s sense of humor made her bold.

“Jumping Elephants, Hopping Chimpanzees,” was her sassy reply.

Miranda rolled her eyes and waved Andy out the door with an amused, “That’s all.”

Andy’s heart had jumped each time Miranda called her in to her office. She was never sure if she was going to be sent for skirts, coffee or asked a question about her fan fiction.

“What was your first posted story?” Miranda asked her on one visit.

Surprised by the question Andy had automatically responded, “Why?”

Miranda had arched an eyebrow at her impertinence but to Andy’s delight actually responded.

“As I understand it screen names usually come from the writer's fan fiction interest,” she stopped and waited for an answer.

Andy had felt her whole body flush with embarrassment as she responded with, “Captain’s Home Sick Blues.”

Miranda had looked at her thoughtfully.

“Ah yes you managed to include every trite plot device possible. The drunken kiss, the rushed proposal and God help you, you even found a way to include the Poconos.”

“I was only seventeen,” Andy mumbled her reply while looking down at her feet.

“Obviously,” Miranda replied. “So your first story was about Voyager. It would seem logical that the J would stand for Janeway.”

Andy had turned to leave but stopped when Miranda called out, “Andrea, coffee, black.”

“I..I.. what?”

“Never mind I’ll just have my usual.” She grinned at her flustered assistant and said, “Cassidy and Caroline love that show.”

L-OMG did you faint?

A-No, but the day never did reach normal. Every time I was alone with her she would guess.

L-Ok so…

A-Janeway evades Hirogen capture, Janeway embodies heroic captains, Janeway ennobles her crew. It just went fucking on and on. Finally she told me I had to tell her when she got a word correct hence she knows Captain is the last word.

L-So you spent the whole day playing word games with MP? That’s just, just, Hell I don't know what that is!

A-Well I do want to thank you again for your lovely help in giving MY BOSS access to my stories! I don't know how many of the flipping things she has read. This is YOUR fault.

L-You’re very welcome I’m sure ….snigger, But I’ll remind you that it isn’t me who prints out fan fiction on my work printer..

A-Ok ok, so anyway in between actually doing my job and being a human word jumble game I was commanded to set up all my job interviews before I left for the day.

L-Did you?

A-All but Rolling Stone, they couldn't accommodate an evening interview.

L-Sorry Kidlet I know that was the one you really wanted.

A-Well, at least I have choices. Ranger Rick has already sent an offer even though they weren’t sent a resume. Apparently the editor of Reptile World mentioned my article to them.

L-Brill! See what an MP stamp of approval will get you.

A-Yeah, yeah a job writing about beaver dams, my heart is all a flutter.

L-Get some rest.

A-You haven't forgotten who I work for right? I think there is a ‘no resting’ clause in the personnel manual. She wants an outline for the proposed DWP visit to Runway for tomorrow’s meeting with Irv.

L-Shit GTG Jane’s home and if she sees my coffee cup next to the new computer I am a dead woman.

***


	8. Chapter 8

On Monday morning Miranda stepped out of her office as soon as both of her assistants were seated at their desks. She felt in her gut that Andrea wouldn't be able to calmly break the news of her imminent departure.

“Emily,” She said, proud that her voice didn't shake. “Call personnel for a new second assistant. Andrea has given notice, her last day is this Friday.” Miranda walked out not waiting for a response.

Once she was out of their sight Miranda stopped to take a breath. After she had been still for a moment she heard the sound of her first assistant speaking harshly to Andrea. Miranda saw red and turned back towards her office thinking, _‘Oh no you don't Ms. Charlton, you will not speak to her like that.’_

Miranda took great pleasure in the smackdown that she gave her first assistant. Making the younger woman repeat her entire tirade, including the profanities, was ridiculously amusing. After the third run through it was clearly unlikely Emily Charlton would ever throw a temper tantrum in a business setting again. Miranda started to leave but her inner imp wouldn't be denied a little more fun.

“Emily,” She said imperiously, “maybe if you treat the next assistant better then you have in the past you won’t be facing such a trial. How do you expect anyone to learn to do their job with half- baked instructions and no rest?”

Miranda felt a little pride when Emily pulled her self together and looked her straight in the eye. ‘ _Good girl’_ she thought. ' _I must have taught you something after all!’_ Miranda’s musing was interrupted with Emily’s unexpected response.

“Pot meet Kettle”

It literally took every bit of control Miranda had not to burst out in applause. _‘Ah, Emily my little sycophant, you’ve finally grown up’_ Miranda thought with glee. _‘I’m so proud. You finally grew a pair and they’re made of brass!_ ’

The rest of the day was quiet. Miranda could barely stomach the sad looks that were frequently crossing Andy’s face. She knew Andy resented that she had to leave. Hell Miranda resented that she had to leave but leave she must.

***

When Miranda sat at her desk Tuesday morning she was determined to pull both herself and Andrea out of their melancholy. After a moment of reflection she called her second assistant in to her office.

“JEHC,” she said in a quiet almost sensual voice. “It’s time to tell.”

Miranda was thrilled when Andrea showed her growing confidence by replying without missing a beat.

“Jumping Elephants, Hungry Chimps.”

Miranda shook her head and waved the younger woman out of her office before she broke out into a grin that would tell more then she would want to.

Knowing that her time with Andrea was coming to an end Miranda had rearranged her schedule to be in the office all week. Her desk chair was angled so that when she looked up she could see Andrea’s face. At the first sign of a frown Miranda would call her into her office and make a guess for the meaning of JEHC.

When the day was almost over Miranda decided that as fun as the little guessing game was, she would like to actually figure out the answer. “Andrea, I have decided that when I guess a word correctly that you will tell me.”

“Come on Miranda, really?”

Miranda raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. “You don't want to play with me?” She asked her voice sultry. She knew her ploy had been a success as Andrea Stumbled over her words.

“Of course I want you..um to play..um to do that.”

Holding back a grin yet unable to stop the twinkling of affection from her eyes Miranda guessed, “Janeway Enjoys Helping Crewman.”

Andy stood quietly. When she didn't say anything Miranda prompted impatiently “Well, other then Janeway, any?”

“Actually,” Andrea responded grinning, “including Janeway, none.”

“What!?” Miranda squawked indignantly. Her annoyance drove her to her feet. “You have been letting me guess Janeway all day and it’s wrong?”

Apparently Miranda’s indignation emboldened Andrea. “Yup,” she said laughing. Then younger woman stated her intention to get coffee and left. Miranda turned her chair to the window. She knew that if anyone saw the affectionately indulgent smile on her face that half the staff would think they were getting fired.

A few minutes later Miranda accepted her coffee from Andrea and said, “I stand by the premise that your screen name relates to Voyager, specifically to Captain Janeway. So let’s try Jovial Elegant Hot Captain.”

“Ok, you have one,” Andrea said nodding.

“Which one,” Miranda huffed in frustration.

“Oh no, that wasn't part of the deal.” Andrea replied, clearly mimicking Mirada’s sultry voice from earlier.

Miranda’s heart fluttered as she steepled her fingers and rested her chin atop them. She studied Andrea and said in slow clipped words, “Jellybeans, Eggplant, Hippopotamus, Captain.”

Andrea rolled her eyes, “One.”

“All right,” Miranda continued in the same tone. “To narrow it down let’s try Jellybeans, Eggplant, Hippopotamus, Cauliflower.”

“None,” Andrea replied, sighing.

“So Captain it is,” she said with great satisfaction. “That’s enough for now.” Miranda began sorting papers. After a moment she realized Andrea had not left. Arching an eyebrow she said, “dismissed.” In the outer office Emily jumped at the sound of Andrea’s responding bark of laughter.


	9. Wednesday Andrea's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Lara and Gin for beta and support. 
> 
> Also thanks to Redandblacklights who thinks she needs to provide a really great phrase each chapter. Pressures on!

Andy was early coming home on Wednesday. For some unknown reason Miranda wanted Emily to deliver the book.

L-You’re early.

A-I swear to God she is an effing pod person!

L-?

A-When I told her I didn't get an interview with Rolling Stone she went into her office and slammed the door. Then later when I brought in her coffee she just started the whole JEHC thing all over again.

L-What did she guess today?

A-Jealous Ensign Happy Captain, to start. I flipping wish I had told her from the beginning. This is like torture. We are sharing all these in house jokes, it’s like we are some kind of friends I know it can’t be but it feels that way.

L-Andy Luv, you know I think you could be friends. I think she wants to be your friend and this is how she’s showing you. When you leave Runway you are still coming back for the DWP issue. Maybe she is setting the stage.

A-I guess, I’m afraid to hope. What if she is just goofing on me like she does everyone else.

L-Ummmm yeah that would really suck. Hey, so word games all day?

A-Actually I was thinking we haven't talked about you in a long time. What’s up?

L-The lady wife is wonderful, the cat won’t come near me when I am at the computer and my feet hurt. So back to MP, what else happened today?

A-Why do your feet hurt?

L-Geesh, because I am pacing around my study all day worried about you! MP?

A-Don’t do that, don't worry about me. I’m sad, I’m really sad, ok I’m really really sad! But I’ll be ok.

L-Really?

A-Really, Really!

L-Ok

A-Guess what?

L-I’m rolling my eyes here. don't you have enough guessing shit in your life right now?

A- lol, The twins were in the office today. Would you believe they write fanfic?!

L-Ahhh so thats how she knows about our world. I totally couldn't get how she was able to trick me into giving her your handle.

A-No, she could have done that anyway, you're easy. So the girls were writing fanfic in Miranda’s office.

Andy hadn't been surprised that the girls were in the office. It was an early out day at school and Miranda made a point of having them around a lot more after her divorce. As was their habit they set up camp on the couch in their mom’s office and were working on their laptops.

“Hey guys, lots of homework today?” Andy asked.

“No,” Cassidy replied. “We’re working on our fan fiction.”

“It’s Wednesday,” Caroline continued, “Mom beta reads for us on Wednesdays.”   
“Wow you guys write! What fandoms? Where do you post?”

“Harry Potter and Twilight,” Cassidy said. Then she threw a teasing glance at her sister, “and Once Upon a Time.”

Caroline rolled her eyes, “We usually post on fanfiction.net.”

“Circulation every nerd in the twenty-first century!” Cassidy said with a flourish.

Andy’s eyes had almost bugged out of her head as the girls fell over each other laughing.

J-Andy if my wife falls out of her chair one more time I am deleting you from her contact list! Oh shit, I have to get her inhaler! BRB

L-Ok sorry about that, I’m back. Did you have any interviews today?

A-It was ridiculous I practically got job offers as soon as I walked in the door. The interviews lasted about two minutes. After the personal managers decided I wasn't a figment of Miranda’s imagination they handed me offers.

L-Shit that babe’s got power!

A-IKR

L-So which one are you going to take?

A-Don’t know yet. She who must be obeyed has forbidden me from taking anything without her approval.

L-Man you have like the goddess of employment agents. Maybe a Million girls would kill for your job, but a billion would kill for your life!

A-I guess so, but I wish her idea of helping me wasn't making me leave her. I just get so sad. But it is hard to stay too sad with that woman constantly making ridiculous JEHC guesses. She’s trying to figure out each word by guessing silly words and then one correct. I think she went through the dictionary to guess J words.

L-Example please?

A-Justice Elephant Hippo Captain, Joyfully Elephant Hippo Captain, Jewel Elephant Hippo Captain, Juicy Elephant Hippo Captain, She actually got just by the end of the day. So now she is on E. Last guess was Just Every Hippo Captain.

L-Wow, she has some jealousy issues!

A-?

L-She keeps saying Hippo Captain, please! It’s like Janeway is some kind of rival so she is repeatedly calling her a hippo.

A-She shouldn't worry, Kate Mulgrew is hot but I love Miranda’s work clothes way more then Janeway’s!

L-Snap!

Andy shook her head in amusement and turned off her monitor. She sat at the table and reviewed the job offers that she had received. Offers she had received just because Miranda wanted to get rid of her. Andy choked back a sob.

 _'Lara is wrong,'_ she whispered to herself. Tears started falling, _'She just wants me gone.'_


	10. Wednesday Miranda's POV

Miranda looked up from her desk when Andrea entered with her coffee, she enjoyed the brush of their fingers as the drink was handed over.

“Jealous Ensign Happy Captain,” were Miranda’s first words of the day.

“Still one,” Andrea responded smiling while holding her pointer finger in the air.

“Out,” Miranda growled.

Andrea’s responding “Yes, Miranda” sounded just a little sassy and Miranda reveled in it.

After an hours worth of phone calls Miranda stretched and stepped out of her office. “Emily,” she said, “the girls want to come to Runway after school. It’s a half day so make sure you get something they will like for lunch when you get mine.”

“Yes, Miranda,” Emily replied.

From the corner of her eye Miranda watched Andrea pull out her cell phone and begin to text. _‘Smart girl’_ Miranda thought to herself sure that she was texting Caroline or Cassidy for a lunch preference. Cultivating a relationship with the twins was one of Andrea’s smarter moves, a move that Emily would never be able to replicate. Emily glanced at Andrea’s phone and then left the office.

“Justice Elephant Hippo Captain?” Miranda asked. She rolled her eyes when Andrea responded buy flashing her pointer finger and mouthing the word one. “Have you scheduled your interviews?” Miranda inquired, “Emily will be bringing the book so your evening is free if you need more time.”

“No need for extra time.” Andrea’s smile was bright as she continued. “I only have Harper’s and News Week left. The others all just sent offers. Ranger Rick was quite enthusiastic.” She looked at Miranda with an amused but puzzled expression.

Miranda raised her hands palm out. “I didn't send anything to Ranger Rick, honestly. I thought Reptile World was a much better match.”

Andrea chuckled, “So they just sent me an offer out of the blue?”

Miranda bristled at Andrea’s apparent disbelief. She straightened her shoulders and said haughtily, “ Need I repeat, publishing legend?” She stared at Andrea with an arched eyebrow. Then with a smile she continued, “Jewel Elephant Hippo Captain.”

Andrea shook her head and flashed her pointer once again. “Not quite legendary enough, Rolling Stone couldn't fit in an evening interview.” Andrea’s tone was melancholy clearly conveying her desire to work for that publication.

The teasing look dropped from Miranda’s face. Without a further word she turned on her heals and strode into her office, the door closed with a sharp click. Miranda was barely in her seat when she began to fire off an email to the editor in chief of Rolling Stone.

David,

I feel compelled to offer you the agency of some of the writers that I know. I can assure you that Patricia is well fed but I am concerned for your family’s well being. The only reason I can fathom for your HR departments declining to interview Andrea Sachs is the belief that they can't afford a writer of her caliber on staff. It concerns me that Rolling Stone feels unable to compete with Reptile World.

I hope that you know that you can rely on our long term friendship if you are in need. Watch your mail for the Trader Joe’s gift card I have just ordered for you. I sent it to your home address just in case…

With Care,  
MP

Miranda reopened her door and was greeted with the sounds of giggling teenagers. “Hello Darlings,” She greeted them. “What is causing you such merriment?”

“I swear Mom,” Cassidy said. “Just when you think the world can’t get any stranger you come to Runway and find out it can!”

Caroline gave her sister a fist bump and continued, “Do you know that whenever anyone mentions another magazine around here Emily spews their circulation?”

Miranda’s eyes twinkled as she snorted in amusement. The girls arched their eyebrows in question. Seeing her own expression staring back at her in duplicate caused Miranda’s smile to broaden. “It was a little joke between Andrea and I that got out of hand.”

Cassidy’s expression of amusement switched to surprise. “You and Andy have jokes?” Her eyes were wide, “You joke around?”

Miranda’s nod was hesitant, almost shy.

“That’s cool Mom, I like Andy,” Caroline jumped in cheerily. “She is always really nice to us.”

“Oh,” said Miranda cautiously, “that’s, that’s nice.”

The almost unheard of stutter coming from her mother seemed to prod Cassidy to contribute. “She is pretty too and funny.” She caught her mother’s eye and said with almost palpable sincerity, “It’s good you have someone to joke with.”

“Yeah,” Caroline interjected, “you should joke with her a lot.”

Miranda was at a loss as to how to continue and was incredibly grateful that Emily arrived to interrupt them with lunch. After the three ladies had enjoyed their meal the girls took their laptops out and amused themselves while their mother went back to running her empire.

An email response from David arrived just before Miranda left for the evening.

Miranda,

Your concern for my wellbeing is heartwarming. I also appreciate the information about the situation in my HR department. Please feel free to send over some applicants, we have several new openings.

While I am sure an offer from Reptile World would be hard to resist I hope that Ms Sachs has not yet signed with an other publication. Rolling Stone will be contacting her for an interview tomorrow.

Thanks,  
David

Miranda got up to leave and patted her computer screen lovingly. “Legendary,” she said with a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any errors are mine as this is basically unbetaed. Forgive me and enjoy (I hope)!

A-OMG, OMG!!!!

L- No need to yell! What the heck did MP ask you out or something?

A- I HAVE A JOB WITH ROLLING STONE!

L- Wow, wow, I’m speechless…

A- I’ll alert the media.

L- Ha Ha, wait didn't they decline to give you an interview?

A- David Fricke showed up at the office, he just walked in!

Andrea was appalled when she walked in to the office and found Emily talking to the Rolling Stone editor.

“I am sorry but if you don't have an appointment you'll really have to leave.” Emily was obviously unaware of with whom she was speaking.

Andrea stepped up to the man and looked at him apologetically. “I’m so sorry Mr Fricke, Miranda neglected to tell us you were expected. She’s in a meeting but we expect her back shortly before lunch.”

“Thank you,” the editor smiled at her. “You are?”

“I am Miranda’s second assistant Andy Sachs.” Andy held out her hand with a smile. “Would you like to have a seat and wait? Is there anything I can get you?”

David took Andy’s hand and replied, “Actually I am here to see you.”

L-Wow! What did you talk about?

A-We didn't talk. I had to tell him I was on Runway’s clock. I wanted to die.

L-Is confusing me a new hobby of yours? You didn't talk to him and you got the job?  
A-Miranda talked to him.

L-Ok time for a piss test. If you don't believe that woman wants to be your friend you’re on drugs!

Miranda charged in to the office at her usual full speed. When she saw David waiting she came to a full stop and her face split in to a huge grin. He rolled his eyes and followed her in to the inner sanctum.

“What the hell was that?” Emily asked. Her voice showed clear annoyance that she was proven wrong about David’s welcome.

“No idea,” Andy replied quickly

Emily glared at Andy when Miranda’s door opened and Andy was called in.

“Andrea, David tells me you were not able to take time to meet with him today.” Her voice was all reprimand but her back was to David and she gave Andy the slyest of winks as she said it. “Honestly haven’t I taught you better?”

“Yes, Miranda,” she looked over at David, “I am sorry sir.”

David laughed, “No worries Andy, I think Miranda covered all that I need.” His lips continued to twitch in obvious amusement and he pulled a sheaf of papers from his briefcase and tried to hand it to Andy. Before she could reach it Miranda snatched it from his hand.

Eyebrow’s raised Miranda read through the document. “Please,” she said imperiously and then ripped the document in half.

Andy gasped looking at the destroyed contract. “I-”

Miranda didn't wait for her to get another word out as she continued, “Reptile World did better then this.”

Andy was surprised at the man’s good humor. He chuckled as Miranda tossed his contract in the garbage. “That is our standard contract for new staff writers.” He said dryly.

“Yes, well,” Miranda said eyes rolling. “If you think a standard contract is appropriate for Andrea then you obviously haven't been paying attention.”

David pulled out a second contract, “Somehow I had a feeling that this was how this was going to go.” His voice was laced with humor.

Once again Andy was not quick enough and Miranda grabbed the contract from David’s hand. After reading it she gave David a deliberately forced smile. “Much better, definitely more in line with her other offers. She’ll consider it and get back to you.” The two editors locked eyes in a friendly battle of wills.

After he broke eye contact David deliberately stepped out of Miranda’s reach. He pulled another contract and a pen from his briefcase and put them directly into Andy’s hands. “Now or never,” he said seriously.

Andy’s eyes bulged and her heart beat double time as she glanced at the bottom line. She stepped further away from Miranda, as if she was afraid that the other woman would wrestle the very lucrative contract from her hands. “Thank you sir,” she said as she quickly signed both copies and handed one back to him.

L-Let’s get this straight, the most powerful woman in publishing tutored you in your field, sold your work and then negotiated your dream job contract?

A-umm, I guess.

L-Andy you've got to stop being an idiot, step up girl!

A-?

L-She has shown you in every way humanly possible that she is your friend. What have you done for her?

A- Don’t you think the story makes it clear how I feel.

L-Hello!!!, that’s a story that shows how you idolize her. I doubt she needs another worshiper or minion, you need to decide what kind of friend you can be.

A-Oh-yea-oh

L-Hey what did she guess today?

A-David gave it away

L-What..how?

Andy hugged her new contract tightly to her body and turned to leave the office.

“Now there is a good sign,” David said with an indulgent smile.  “She’s just embracing her contract.”

Miranda had just taken a sip of her coffee and fell into a very undignified coughing fit at his words. Once her airways were cleared she gave her assistant a radiant grin. “That’s all,” she said.

L-pfft-snap

A-Ikr

Andy shivered as she thought about her final moments at work. The lights were low as they usually are in the late evening. Andy was standing at the file cabinet unaware that anyone had entered the office until she caught the sent of Miranda’s perfume from directly behind her. Andy stood frozen as she felt a warm breath caress her ear and heard a low throaty voice whisper, “Just Embrace Her Captain. I believe that is excellent advice.” Andy turned and tried hard not to hyperventilate as she watched the sway of Miranda’s hips as she sauntered out of the office.

L-And yet you live!

A-Well it took a while for me to breath.

L-I can’t believe I am saying this, she wants more.

A-Maybe she’s just playing me.

L-Really, do you truly think that?

A- I don't know

L-Don’t say you don't know. You know that woman better then anyone. Do you really think she’s playing you?

A-No, she isn't playing me.

L-See that wasn't too hard.

A-Oh God what do I do? I mean really, how does someone romance Miranda Priestly?

L-Well I know where you can get a whole load of idea’s for that. Start with Brithna I’m sure she’s got some thoughts for you.”

A-Bite me!

L-She might if you are lucky!

A-Brithna?

L-lol-MP!

A-Stop with the visuals-I still have one more day to get through.

L-Mm last day at Runway. Have you picked out what to wear.

A-Yup

L-Something epic?

Andy looked at the clothes that she had lain out on her bed. A bulky blue cerulean sweater, plaid skirt and clogs.

A-The most memorable clothes I own.

L-You’ll call me, let me know you are ok?

A-How can I possibly be ok?


	12. Chapter 12

Miranda could barely contain her delight at seeing David in her front office. It was all she could do to keep from saying “Gotcha!” when she invited him in to her inner sanctum.

“Welcome to Runway” she said grinning at him.

“Thanks,” he said smiling as he took a seat across from her desk. “I want you to know that the local food bank really appreciated the gift card!”

“Oh?” she asked, her eyes dancing with merriment.

“I decided that now that I have made some adjustments in HR, Rolling Stone will be just fine.” They shared a look of amused exasperation.

Miranda decided to cut right to the chase.

“So have you come to interview Andrea?”

David shrugged, “I’m not sure how much she actually wants to work for me. She certainly didn't want to take the time to speak with me about it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Miranda replied sharply while shaking her head in annoyance.

“That was not a lack of desire it is what we call work ethic. She was probably devastated that she couldn't stop and talk with you.” Miranda arched and eyebrow, “You’re still here so I assume you watched her work. She is an exemplary employee.”

“You certainly have her hopping.” His expression changed from amused to pensive, “Even being the best assistant in the world doesn't make her a candidate for staff writer.”

“If you have concerns about her writing why did you agree to publish it?”

“Because it was good.” He locked eyes with Miranda, “and very well edited.”

Miranda’s lips twitched in amusement.

“Thank you,” she said sardonically.

She reached in her desk drawer and pulled out a folder that contained Andrea’s work. After glancing at it briefly she handed him the original copy of Andrea’s article on colored hair. David spent a moment reading it before commenting.

“It’s well done. I can see the edits were needed but I would have accepted it as is and edited it myself.” He chuckled, “I’m not paying you for your editorial work, good as it is.”

 

Miranda let out a genuine laugh.

“Yes, well I am sure Patricia will not suffer for the lack of a paycheck from Rolling Stone.”

“Miranda, I am not actually looking for another staff writer right now.”

“Your loss, why are you here?”

“Well, when the great Miranda Priestly offers a recommendation a person would be foolish not to take a look.” He grinned, “I’ve never heard of you giving a recommendation to anyone.” David paused “You really think I should make a space for her?”

“You’d be a fool not to.”

David got up and walked over to the table in Miranda’s office. He grabbed a copy of Runway and put it in front of her and said. “Put your hand on your bible.”

She glared at him but did what he asked.

“Do you solemnly swear that Andrea Sachs is worth adding to my team and will be an asset to Rolling Stone worth hiring even though I am not looking?”

“Oh for God’s sake David, of course I do.”

He looked at her contemplatively, “She is important to you?”

“She has been an adequate assistant for over 2 years. There was one little bump a year ago in Paris, but she grew up.”

“Miranda tell me what I may be letting me self in for? Are you seeing each other?”

“Honestly,” Miranda rolled her eyes. “She is my assistant, I see her daily.”

David sighed heavily, “Are you in a romantic relationship with Ms. Sachs?”

“No,” Miranda replied looking down at her hands.

She felt her stomach drop and her throat constrict, she clenched her jaw at the thought of the implications of that answer. Andrea gone, working for someone else. Andrea gone and maybe falling in love with someone else. She looked up and straightened her shoulders.

“No,” she said again curtly. “We are not in a romantic relationship,” She paused, “yet.”

David put his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead.

“It’ll be a shit storm.”

“Yes, well, so was my last divorce. We’re used to it at my house.” Then her face broke into an uncharacteristic grin. “She has the girls’ stamp of approval. They indicated she would be worth the trouble. That’s all I need.”

“And she feels the same?”

Miranda steepled her fingers and rested her chin on them.

“We have not discussed it but Andrea has indicated an interest. I will know more once she is no longer in my employ. She may not be able to confront what you have so elegantly phrased,” She put her fingers up in quotes, “the shit storm.”

David glanced over at the door. “This will be one hell of a ride,” He looked back and locked eyes with Miranda. She felt like he was trying to read her mind, they stared at each other and then he nodded, “I’m convinced, bring her in.”

Andrea’s nervous smile turned to an excited grin as she seemed to realize that she would be offered a job at Rolling Stone. “Hell no,” Miranda thought to herself when she saw a twinkle in Andrea’s eye that indicated she was ripe for the picking. Miranda was just as surprised as anyone when her hand shot out and grabbed the contract David was about to hand to her assistant.

Andrea’s gasp of horror when Miranda ripped the contract, with barely a look, amused her no end. By his smile it seemed David was amused as well. Miranda was deliberate in snatching the second contract for review. It was actually quite good but in her estimation not good enough.

Miranda held in her amusement when David stepped out of her reach to offer the third contract. Andrea snatched it and barely read it before she handed it back signed. Andrea headed towards the office door hugging the employment paperwork to her chest. Lost in thought Miranda almost missed David’s off handed comment. She choked on her just sipped coffee when the words “She’s just embracing her contract,” came in to her consciousness.

The day was busier than the usual Thursday. As much as Miranda wanted to spend her assistant’s second to last day in the office it just wasn't possible. At eight o’clock she came back to the office to finish a few odds and ends before heading home. Miranda was disappointed upon seeing her assistant's desk empty. Not wanting anyone to know she was in her office and impede her from getting home she didn't brighten the lights. Therefor she wasn't surprised to discover Andrea had come back and not spoken to her, she was clearly unaware of Miranda’s presence.

 

Miranda slowly walked up behind the young woman. She could tell that her presence had been noted when Andrea stiffened. Miranda stepped close to her and in a deliberately low voice whispered, “Just Embrace Her Captain. I believe that is **excellent** advice.” She felt a tingle of excitement when Andrea noticeably shivered at her words. Feeling pleased with the response Miranda added an extra sway to her saunter while exiting the office.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who celebrate Holidays this time of year I hope they are wonderful. Merry Christmas for those who celebrate with me and for those who don't celebrate at all have a great day!

L- On lunch?

A- Yup

L-You ok?

A-I think so

L-Did you slay them with a new outfit?

A-Lol no, but I almost killed Emily with an old one.

L-Umm don’t take this the wrong way but what are you wearing?

A-Now? Chanel

L- Now?

A- I resurrected the outfit from my first day, but Miranda made me change.

L- Holy..I..what the heck!

A-Oh I do so love it when I knock you for a loop!

L-Don’t you think that it was a bit of an insult to show up dressed like that? I mean she has spent two years teaching you about fashion.

A-No, she recognized the tease. Now I just want to figure out a way to fit ‘stuff’ into a conversation. And no, telling Emily to ‘stuff it’ doesn't count.

L-I don’t know, I think you are walking a fine line. What are you really trying to get across?

A-If you are right and she wants me in her life then I need to remind her who I am. She has to accept all of me, lumpy sweaters and all.

 

L-So, with the new relationship dynamic everything old is new again.

A-I guess that’s one way to put it.

L-Ok so tell me what happened, right from the beginning.

“No! No! No!”

Andy grinned at Emily’s response to her arrival. The horrified look along with a loud squeaky attempt at a whisper was classic.

“She’s here! Give me that!” She grabbed at Miranda’s morning coffee. “I’ll deliver that, go change or hide or something.”

Emily’s pathetic attempt to whisper and yell at the same time was an epic failure and it drew Miranda from her office.

“Emily, what in the world is your prob-” Miranda’s mouth snapped shut and her eyes widened dramatically while she stared at her second assistant’s attire. After a moment she put out a hand and leaned on Emily’s desk as if she were going to collapse. She put her hand to her forehead covering her eyes.

“Emily, call my Physician,” She said quietly.

Emily grabbed the phone and started to dial and Andy moved to Miranda’s side.

“What is it?” she asked solicitously.

Miranda peeked out from her fingers and said in a weak voice, “My eyes, they burn!”

Miranda straightened up her face bland, Andy chucked and Emily stood, phone in hand and mouth agape.

“For goodness sake Emily hang up, I am sure Nigel can take care of what ails me.” She turned and looked at Andy. With twinkling eyes and twitching lips she said, “Andrea, really, the last time you wore that ensemble the entire staff almost went in to cardiac arrest.” She rubbed her chin and continued, “Or is that the point? Is your final act at Runway an attempt to kill us all?” She arched an eye brow and waited for a response.

“No, just Emily,” Andy replied tongue in cheek.

Miranda glanced over at the shocked young woman still holding the phone.

“For Goodness sake Emily hang up and sit down.”

“Yes Miranda, of course,” Emily sat at her desk, eyes glued to her computer.

Miranda’s eyes bored into Andy and she said, “You have disrupted the morning quite enough.” She rubbed her forehead as if she really did have a headache.

“Go see Nigel I am sure he can provide you with something appropriate. Bring…” She waved her hand at Andy’s clothes, “these back here and give them to me. You can consider it a trade.”

“You want my clothes?” Andy’s voice actually squeaked in surprise.

“Clearly you can’t be trusted to protect the world from what amounts to a fashion weapon of mass destruction.” She gave the classic Miranda sigh and continued, “I will not be responsible for any fatalities or mayhem that you may cause.”

She looked Andy up and down and dismissed her with the usual ‘That’s all.”’After turning towards her office door Miranda stopped and said over her shoulder, “Andrea, please go up and say good bye to Irv,” she paused a beat, “before you see Nigel.”

***Miranda’s POV***

Miranda was pretending to work as she listened for Andrea’s arrival. She was torn between excitement and fear. Getting this day over with would bring the opportunity to change her relationship with the young woman, however getting this day over with would also give Andrea the opportunity to say no. Her musings were disrupted by hearing Emily speaking in an over the top faux whisper. Miranda stood up and headed for the door, she recognized the frantic squeak in Emily’s voice as the harbinger of something bad.

Miranda stepped out of her office prepared for drama.

“Emily, what in the world is your prob-” Miranda’s mouth snapped shut and her eyes widened dramatically while she stared at her second assistants’ attire. _‘Oh my God,’_ she thought to herself, _‘Not the cerulean sweater, not again.’_ Miranda felt her knees weaken as she remembered the first time she met Andrea. The sexual attraction had been instant and so too was her outrage. Miranda had sworn that she would never allow herself to fall for another woman, that this very young woman could slip thought her armor was a shock. The fact that she could be attracted to a woman in an ugly lumpy sweater was unconscionable.

Miranda put her hand to her face to hide her arousal. While it’s true that she wanted to move the relationship in a romantic direction she was sure giving in to a fantasy of ripping Andrea’s sweater off was not the way she wanted to start out. Ok maybe that is what she wanted to do, but not at the office. Miranda came back to herself and realized she needed to take control of the situation because at that moment she was looking rather foolish.

“Emily, call my physician,” She said quietly.

Emily grabbed the phone and started to dial and Andrea moved to Miranda’s side.

“What is it?” she asked solicitously.

Miranda peeked out from her fingers and said in a weak voice, “My eyes, they burn!”

After spending a moment to collect herself she straightened up and reveled in both Andrea’s amusement and Emily’s horror.

Unknown to anyone but Nigel Miranda had purchased some designer ensembles and made him swear to pretend they were closet cast offs. Miranda could never hide anything from Nigel, he greeted her recently confessed feelings with immediate approval and support. She wanted Andrea to be able to dress for success and she thought wistfully if things didn't work out to have something to remember her by.

Miranda sent Andrea off to change and in a moment of weakness demanded that Andrea bring back the outfit to her. If in the end she didn't get the girl, the sweater from hell would be a source of comfort.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you that I was going to post two views at a time going forward. While my reasoning still stands, life is in my way and I haven't written a thing in weeks. I decided to post this because I don't want you to think that the fic might be abandoned! 'Groves of Sintar' took years and became an obligation, I promised myself never again! So here is a little something so you can keep the faith!

Andy knew immediately that Miranda had warned Nigel of her impending arrival. He looked her up and down in disgust.

“How you could have possibly thought that it was ok to subject us to this monstrosity?”

Andy laughed and reached out for the garment bags that Nigel was holding out to her. “Hey, I’m getting a new outfit out of it! I think it was a stroke of genius.”

Nigel rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You’re just lucky your stroke didn't cause any strokes.”  
He waited outside the dressing room while Andy went in to change.

“Yay! Chanel,” she exclaimed joyfully when she opened the bag containing white linen slacks and a blazer. The second bag left her speechless.

“Well,” Nigel asked through the door.

“I..Oh my God Nigel these are not closet cast offs.”

Andy stepped out wearing a boat necked cerulean and white checked blouse.

“She picked these out, didn't she?”

“Hmmm” he replied noncommittally.

Andy did a little spin of excitement and headed for the door.

“Wait!” Nigel yelped at her. “For Chanel’s sake wait!”

“What?”

He pointed to her shoes.

“Do you have a death wish? Oh wait no, it would be me she would kill if you left here in those.”

 

Andy slipped out of her clogs and reached out for the pair of white Jimmy Choos that Nigel was holding. He pulled them back at the last second and caught her gaze.

“If this is about the shoes or the clothes or the recommendations stop now. If you leave now she will recover but…” His eyes bore into hers, his face stone hard.

“Nigel what?”

“I know what’s going on, all the secret smiles and in-house jokes. Even if she hadn't shared her feelings with me I would know. I know her Andy, I know her inside out and you have the power to hurt her. If you aren't clear with your intentions you will hurt her.”

“I don’t want to hurt her, really!”

“Make sure you don’t. Make sure you know exactly what you want before you move forward.” He pressed the shoes into her hands and repeated the words, “Make sure,” and left for his office.

Andy walked back to her desk lost in thought. She didn't even realize Emily and Miranda were staring at her until Miranda cleared her throat.

“Turn,” Miranda said without preamble.

Andy grinned and did a quick spin.

“Don’t you love the color?” She asked with laughter in voice.

“I always have, cerulean was a pigment introduced in the 1860s and is prominently featured in Claude Monet's La Gare Saint-Lazare, 1877, it’s a favorite.” Miranda responded dryly.

“I thought Oscar de la Renta introduced it,” Emily said, her eyes darting between the other two women.

“Oh well…” Miranda said waving her hand airily. “I made that up.”

Emily’s mouth almost hit the floor.

“What?”

Miranda rolled her eyes and looked back at Andy.

“How was Irv? You did go up there did you not?”

“I did and I am sorry Miranda, I tried to stop her.”

“Explain.”

“As soon as Irv saw me in the office he clutched his chest. He had barely hit the floor when his secretary started CPR.” Andy shrugged and continued, “I tried to distract her with knock knock jokes but it just didn't work.”

Miranda patted her on the shoulder, “I understand, I am sure you did your best.” She turned to head back to her office and glanced over at Emily.

“Close your mouth dear you don’t want to be catching flies.”

 

Once Miranda had left for the day Andy pulled up messenger.

A-She’s gone

L-Kinda late

A yeah, I thought she might be waiting for the book to take it home herself

L-That would have been disappointing

A-ikr

L-What was she waiting for?

A-idk she just worked at her desk all afternoon, then she got a strange phone call and left.

L-Strange?

A-It came in on her direct line, the one that is usually reserved for someone important or the girls. She just said “What?” and then hung up.

L-Can you always hear her calls?

A-I guess, I screen her calls so I usually know what’s going on. Mostly I tune it out.

L-So how was the rest of your day?

A-My butt hurts

L-ohhh has she instituted spankings if the coffee’s too cold?

A-There’s and image, thanks! With my luck if she did it would be delegated to Emily.

L-So why the aching ass?

A-I haven’t gotten out of my seat since lunch. All errands have been assigned to Emily.

L-Why didn't you stretch when she stepped out?

A-She didn’t, not once since lunch, not even to go to the bathroom. Nigel came in to see her for a few minutes but other than that no meetings or run throughs just nothing but sitting at her desk reading emails or something.

L-Well then her ass must be sore as well.

A-Nah she has a really nice seat.

L-Yes, you have mentioned that before

A-Ha Ha

L-So what did you do all day?

A-Worked on the DWP issue. I have the shoots and interviews all scheduled.

L-When?

A-Next week, I had to convince the producers to actually release the courtier from the movie for them to wear. Eventually I called the designers and got them to loan us some of it.

L-Wait, what, you’re telling me that you are going to do interviews with Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway next week?

A-Yes

L-Wtf? No Caps, no exclamation points, do you even care?

A-Today, no I don't care. I just watched MP walk out of the office for the LAST time! I am waiting for the book so I can deliver it for the LAST time!!!! So yeah, I don't care about anything else right now.

L-Ooooookay, so change of subject-what was she wearing?

A-You are so perverse

L-Hmmm

A- Black pin stripe Bill Blas power suit with white button down shirt

L-How many buttons?

A-Cut it out

L-Come on, how many were open?

A-Three

L-Yowza! Great view front and back!

A-Yes, for the LAST time

L-Stop, just stop, I can’t do this for you. I can’t be a little Jiminey Cricket whispering in your ear to tell you what’s up with her. You know, you don't need me to tell you because you already know! So for the LAST time will you see what is right in front of your face.

A-Hey! You are the one who told me it couldn't work! You are the one who told me the kids and Runway made something between us impossible. You said that the media circus would be too much and it would be a risk to her life's work. Now you act like it’s a forgone conclusion!

L-I’m sorry kidlet. I really believed that at the time and I didn't want you to get hurt. But after everything that’s happened I think that she is worth the risk and I think that she thinks that too!

*****

A-She did look pretty alluring today. It makes me feel tingly all over when I think maybe it was for me!

L-Now that’s the spirit

A-When she left she actually had me hold her coat for her.

L-Pffffft She let you in that close with three buttons down?

A-Yeah and she smelled really good, it was so hot.

L-Can I come with you to deliver the book?

A-What?

L-I really want to be there tonight. You won’t even notice me I promise.

A-Oh my god you are such a perv, you would never be able to get from England to New York in time.

L-Face time, face time would work. Just put the phone in the right spot.

A-Lara you will not ever be a part of my and Miranda’s sex life. When we get to that point you will not be there!

L-YES, Finally! That’s my girl- WHEN not if!

A-Brat, I’m scared, she could really hurt me.

L-And you could really hurt her, she seems to think the risk is worth it, do you?

A-I do, I really, really do! Oh gtg book’s here

L-Go get her tiger!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to Gin and Lara for their help!  
> You have no idea what they put up with!  
> Thank you to all the writers who gave me permission to play with their toys. If you haven't read the stories mentioned in this work I hope you will. I am sure you will love them as much as I do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to dedicate this chapter to Gun Brooke and Brithna. When I think about my love of fan fiction these are two of the people who always pop in to my mind.
> 
> Gun is an amazing writer who I adored in the J/7 fandom. I was missing out because I never gave uberfiction a chance until I tried 'On and Icy Road' and 'The Girl from Ravens Island' I did so simply because she wrote them. When I first heard of DWP I didn't think it would work. It was only after I found out that Gun wrote DWP that I gave it a try. I am so glad I did because it works just fine! 
> 
> Brithna has written my all time favorite DWP story. It's the sequel to 'The Fall and the Landing'. So if you want to read the story that speaks to me more then any other give 'Ninety Days to Glory' a shot!

Miranda chuckled quietly as she walked back in to her office. ' _Knock Knock jokes? Honestly! She should have tried limericks.'_

_There once was a chairman, a jerk_   
_He thought harassing Miranda a perk_   
_He fell on the floor_   
_His heart beat no more_   
_But he sadly was saved by his clerk_

She wiped the smile off her face while turning to sit at her desk, It wouldn't do to cause Emily a heart attack and leave her without any assistants! Her lips turned to down in a frown at the thought of not seeing Andrea at her desk on Monday or ever again. Her only solace was knowing they would be working together on the Devil Wears Prada issue of Runway and the hope that after today they might have a totally different type of relationship.

“Emily.”

The assistant came quickly to the doorway.

“I have too much to do today to leave my desk this afternoon. Cancel anything on my calendar that isn't in my office.”

“Ok, umm that is your entire schedule.”

“And?”

“Ok, right, cancel everything.” Emily's voice shook, clearly dreading the responses she would be dealing with from the people who needed to be rescheduled.

 

Miranda watched her leave and thought. _‘This is the last day that Andrea will be sitting at that desk, I’m not going to miss another minute of it.’_ She sat down and pulled up her email. As always, it was a full mail box. Most of her colleagues knew that they should reach out through Andrea or Emily if they wanted her attention, they usually cc’d her as a courtesy. A rueful smile graced Miranda’s face as she pictured the shock that would follow an email response directly from herself! A quick call to production ensured she would be alerted fifteen minutes before the book was delivered.

 _‘What now?’_ Miranda wondered.

She had no focus to actually work on the magazine and after an hour of email she had run out of things to do. She hesitated at her computer then shrugged her shoulders.

“Why not,” she mumbled. She pulled up explorer and typed fan fiction . net. She gazed lovingly at the icon on Andrea’s author’s page. Remembering her girls’ stelar introduction to the world of fan fiction Miranda clicked on the tab entitled favorite stories.

“Hmm ‘Like Amanda’ that seems ok.” Miranda clicked on the link and viewed the author’s name.

“GinStan,” she mumbled thoughtfully, “GinStan.. mmm…?” She shook her head “Yea, no, I’m not even going to try.”

Miranda found herself highly amused by the behavior of the drugged main character. _‘Imagine an all brunet issue of Runway.’_ She rolled her eyes.  
_‘There is no way that Emily and Nigel would let that get by no matter what.’_

Feeling the need to prove the point she called Nigel.

“I’ve decided,” she said when he answered, “that the April issue will be all brunette models, nothing but brunettes in the entire book.” When Nigel didn’t respond Miranda continued, “Even the ads. We’ll tell all the advertisers brunettes only.”

“OK,” responded Nigel slowly. “Who do you want for the cover?”

 

Miranda put her hand over her eyes in disbelief and hung up the phone. Next she called out to Emily.

“Yes Miranda?” The Brit responded quickly.

“I want you to start booking models for the April issue. We are going with all brunettes. There are to be nothing but brunettes anywhere in the book.”

Emily looked a little faint as she responded, “Well, right, I’ll start calling…” Emily took a deep breath and said, “We have Taylor Swift scheduled for the April cover. Shall I call her agent?”

“What? No!” Miranda almost shrieked. “Emily in what world would an all brunette issue of Runway be a good idea?”

Emily’s mouth opened and closed with no sound coming out.

“Well?”

“None,” was Emily’s uncertain reply.

“So why would you just go along with it?”

Emily chuckled derisively and then tried to cover it up with a cough.

“Well?” Miranda repeated sharply.

Emily straightened her shoulders and made eye contact with her mercurial boss.

“Miranda, in what world do you think contradicting you is a good idea?”

Miranda raised one eyebrow and Emily looked like she was either going to shit, run or go blind.

Miranda took a deep breath, “Well, going forward,” she said dryly, “Any world where I appear to be editing under the influence.” The two women locked eyes and Miranda sent Emily off with a quiet, “That’s all.”

Miranda couldn't decide if staying in her office, so she could enjoy the sight of Andrea at her desk, was a good idea or if it was just going to drive her crazy. She shook her head as if to clear it and then looked back at her computer, she pulled up Andrea’s favorite authors tab.

_‘Hmm where to click.’_

She closed her eyes and moved her mouse. When she looked she found her cursor on the name Jazwriter.

 _‘Musically inclined I wonder?’_ The name sounded familiar so she closed her eyes trying to recall why. _‘Ahh the beta reader.’_

Miranda cocked her head as she looked at the long list of stories. ‘ _When in the world does she have time to beta with the writing she does?’_ Scrolling down the list she grinned at the title ‘The Cerulean Dragon.’

 _‘Harry Potter cross over. The girls would be so proud!’_ She looked again noting the 22 chapter story had an M rating. _‘I guess they’ll never know.’_

She raised her eyebrow, _’78,000 words, not today I think._ ’ Miranda bookmarked the page. _‘I hope I get to be a Wizard, I mean Melissa, I hope Melissa is a Wizard.’_ She was glad there was no one there to see her blushing.

Miranda moved back to Andrea's favorite story page and randomly clicked on a title. She pulled up ’The Fall and the Landing’ by Brithna.

 _‘Its only 2000 words why not.’_ After just a few paragraphs Miranda felt a tear on her cheek and her breathing was a little ragged.

_‘How could she do that? I don't care how well written it is! How could she let him die!’_

After she finished the story Cassidy’s advice of always reading the intro rang in her mind, she noticed the character death warning too late. Taking a few deep breaths Miranda picked up her phone and dialed Nigel.

“The brunette issue was a joke, we aren't doing it” Miranda said without preamble.

“Oh thank God!” Nigel’s exclamation was clearly heart felt.

“I don’t understand how you could have believed I would do that? Really Nigel, I would’ve had to cancel Taylor Swift!”

Nigel cleared his throat. “I’ve never thought Miranda Priestly joking about the contents of Runway was a possibility.”

“Well, remember in the future. And if you didn't think I was joking you should have called me a doctor.”

“Yes, Miranda” he responded in a voice laced with humor.

“Speaking of Doctors,” Miranda was trying to speak casually but failing abysmally, “when was the last time you saw yours?”

“When have I seen a doctor? What, is this the beginning of another joke?”

“No Nigel, I have noticed you never seem to stop working. That isn’t healthy.” Miranda cringed as Nigel’s guffaw came through the line. “I am wondering when did you have your last checkup?”

“I have no idea Miranda I’m feeling fine so it’s been a while.”

“You will make an appointment.” Miranda rolled her eyes glad Nigel couldn't see them. “You’re a valuable asset to Runway, I will not have you mistreating yourself!”

“Yes, Miranda,” Nigel said again. This time his voice was laced with concern.

“That’s all,” she said and hung up the phone.

Miranda looked back in her email and found a few she could respond to even as distracted as she was. But it only took up a few minutes of the excruciating day she had cursed herself with.

“Andrea.” She called her soon to be ex-assistant into her office. “Where are we with the ‘Devil Wears Prada’ segments?” She motioned for the younger woman to sit across from her.

“We are set for a joint interview on Tuesday, Emily cleared your schedule for you to attend.”

Miranda frowned realizing that Emily was in charge of her schedule again. She had to keep from making a fist as the words Emily not Andrea rang through her head.

“And?”

“The movies producers were being difficult with releasing the wardrobe. I gave up on them and went right to the designers so we’re all good.”

“Acceptable,” Miranda replied and waited for more.

“Umm the marketing department is in heaven. Advertisers are lining up to do movie related ads.” Andrea looked at her hands and then back up at Miranda with trepidation. “They umm…they want…”

“What? Spit it out what do they want?”

“Well,” Andrea said quietly. “They want you.”

“Excuse me?”

“They want you to be in some of the ads. Apparently an ad with you in it would be worth millions.”

Miranda was outraged.

“Most definitely not!”

She glared at Andrea for even suggesting it.

“I have agreed to a few poses with Meryl and Ann but I most certainly am not going to be a subject for advertisers.”

Andrea’s face relaxed when she responded. “I already told them and they were terribly disappointed.”

Andrea flashed her trademark blinding smile.

“They are right you know, pictures of you selling Prada would be worth millions.”

In response Miranda stood up from her desk and looked down at her imperiously.

“Millions, don't be absurd! Pictures of me selling anything would be priceless, which is why it’s never going to happen!” Miranda pointed at the door, “Out,” she said playfully making sure to enjoy the view as Andrea walked away.

Once again Miranda was left sitting at her desk drumming her fingers wondering what to do with herself.

 _‘Oh well.’_ she shrugged turning to her computer. _‘I’ll probably never have time for this sort of silliness again so I might as well enjoy it.’_  
After a few moments Miranda was completely engrossed in another story. So intent was she that Nigel’s appearance in her office went unnoticed until she felt him lean over her shoulder and read questioningly.

“Truth and Measure?”

Miranda shut the window and moved her chair so that Nigel had to take a step back.

“Donetella sent it. It’s an article on problems caused by the lack of international standardization in clothing size.”

“Oh,” Nigel nodded.

“I don’t recall requesting your presence.” Miranda said eyebrow arched.

“Well, you recently mentioned that if you were acting strange I should call you a doctor. After our last two phone calls I thought I’d better check in.”

“Don’t be silly Nigel, I am fine.”

“Then what was that about, an all brunette Runway and orders to see my doctor?”

Miranda waved him to the chair Andrea had recently vacated.

“It was called to my attention that I could say almost anything and my employees would agree with me because I am me.”

Nigel hid his smile behind his hand.

“You and Emily are the two people whose opinions about Runway really matter.” She glared at him, “If you tell her I’ll deny it.”

They shared a smile and she continued.

“I value your opinion and am very disappointed that you held it back. I understand why you might have hesitated, but it can't happen again.”

Nigel nodded, “I’ll be sure of it.”

He stood up from the chair.

“The art department won’t run itself so I better get back to it.”

“Yes, you should,” Miranda said smiling. “Oh and Nigel.”

He paused to listen.

“It is not just your opinion I value.”

His face broke in to a wide smile, “I hope you know it’s mutual.”

Their gazes met and then they both looked shyly away. It was a far more emotional moment then the two were comfortable with.

“Reverse alphabet this time.” Miranda mumbled while focusing back on her computer screen. She gazed at Andrea’s favorite authors list.

“XV, just letters again, Xylophone Virtuoso? X-Ray Vision?” She looked down the list of stories, “Ah Xena, of course.”

She began reading titles. “Lord of the Nile.. I umm Melissa gets to be a Pharaoh.”

Mentally hearing Caroline’s admonition about not reading works in process Miranda disappointedly moved on.

_‘Tickle Tantrum,’ Nobody better get any ideas there. Let’s try this one…’_

Moments later Miranda was fanning herself with her magazine blushing.

_‘I suppose a title about giving ‘Good Aural’ should have been a clue.’_

Miranda moved back to the favorite stories page.

 _‘Ok, one more, one more dip into Andrea’s little hobby then back to the real world._ ’

She did another blind click and found herself reading WastedOns ‘Voice Messages from friends.’

_‘Oh joy why does everyone want to compare me with Cruella Di Vil. I have much better hair.’_

After a few more moments Miranda’s hand shot up to cover her face.

_'Good lord she’s not comparing me she’s pairing Andrea, I mean Amanda. She’s paring my… I mean Melissa’s Amanda with Cruella!'_

She peeked through her fingers as if reading it that way would make it easier. After a few more moments of reading she practically shot out of her chair.

_‘Both of us..them…both of them with her…all three of them!’_

Miranda was so distracted by the story she almost missed the ringing of her phone.

“What?” She asked in lieu of hello.

When the voice on the other end told her that the book was ready she hung up without replying. Miranda walked out of her office saying, “Coat,bag.”

She amused herself by having Andrea help her into her coat. Her face was smug as she watched Andrea’s eyes stray downward and her skin turn pink with arousal. Miranda put a little extra sway in her step knowing Andrea was watching her leave.

Upon arriving home Miranda sent Roy straight back to Elias Clarke. She knew Andrea and the book would be ready when he got there. Now all she could do was wait, wait and hope. Wait and hope that Andrea felt what she felt, wanted what she wanted.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The book is delivered for the las time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Gin and XV for their great help and ideas.  
> Thanks to Jazwriter for her help in the original Cats? I can’t think of one without the other. You are all amazing writers and I am so thrilled to have you in my corner.
> 
> Wow I can’t believe this story is done!  
> It is not my best story-Hopefully that is yet to come.  
> It is not my favorite story-Groves of Sintar will always have that spot.
> 
> I will tell you that this story was the biggest challenge and most fun of any of the rest. It was supposed to be a one shot for Lara (yes the real Lara aka XV) about Andy getting caught writing fan fiction. It became a parody of my own story, then of the fan fiction writing process and fan fiction itself. Thanks to all the readers who’s comments kept me excited and who supplied some great ideas (helping with the JEHC debacle and the phrase ‘verbal tic’ and more). Thanks to the authors who allowed me to give their noses a little tweak in chapter 15. You are great sports! I don't usually go on like this but today I am excited to post the final product! Enjoy (I hope)!

Chapter 16

 

Andy let herself in to the town house and put the book on the hall table as she always did. Then she opened the closet door and put the dry cleaning away exactly as she had done for the past two years. What was new was Miranda standing at the bottom of the steps watching her. When Andy saw her standing there she lashed out. “It’s done, your dry cleaning is here, your book is here and now I don't work for you anymore.” Tears began falling down her face which was growing red with anguish.

Miranda put her hand on Andy’s cheek and wiped a tear from it.

“Andrea this is not an ending, it’s a new beginning. Why are you crying?”

“It’s the last thing,” Andy choked out in response. “This is the last time.”

Miranda turned Andy to her and pulled her into a hug.

“Andrea please tell me you are not crying over my dry-cleaning delivery.”

“It’s just I won’t be doing it anymore, someone else will, not me, someone else.”

Miranda rubbed Andy’s back gently and chuckled. “You are aware that my dry cleaner’s shop is half way between here and your new office at Rolling Stone, are you not?”

Andy shook her head no and took a sharp breath as the movement caused her face to rub against Miranda’s neck.

“If it would make you feel better you can pick up my laundry anytime you want.”

“Really?” Andrea said winsomely, “Really I can?”

Miranda’s lips were twitching as she responded. “Of course you can Darling, you can even walk the dog if you want to.”

Andy pulled her head away from Miranda’s shoulder, “Thank you!” she said enthusiastically while gazing at Miranda adoringly.

It was only a second before Andy realized the absurdity of the conversation. The women locked eyes and burst into laughter. Their arms wrapped around each other were the only thing keeping them upright as they shook with soul cleansing mirth.

“I guess that was kind of silly,” Andy said shyly.

“Mmmm,” Miranda responded holding Andy close to her.

“You called me Darling.”

“I did.”

“I would do it, you know. If it meant seeing you every day I would pick up your dry-cleaning or anything else.”

Miranda softly kissed Andy on her cheek and pulled out of her arms. “Come Darling, let’s go to my study. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

*****

As they sat together on the couch Miranda noticed the folder in Andrea’s hand. “Ah, the final chapter.”

Andrea growled, “The stupid chapter you made me write and then fired me for it.”

Miranda faked a look of surprise. “I didn't fire you, you quit.”

Andrea huffed and crossed her arms.

“Andrea,” Miranda put her hand on the younger woman’s leg and spoke more gently. “It was clear to me when I came across the first chapter that you could no longer work for me.”

“Why? I acted appropriately. You could have just ignored it, nothing had to change.”

“Of course it did Darling, how could I ignore how you felt once I knew it matched how I felt?”

Andrea’s frown turned back in to a gentle smile and she asked shyly .“So you have been flirting with me all month? It wasn't my imagination?”

Miranda’s hand on Andrea’s leg began to move in gentle circles, “Not your imagination, no.”

Andy held up the folder, “Did you umm like it?” Her face turned bright red in embarrassment.

“Didn’t you look at my edits?”

Andy looked down at her hands and shook her head no.

“Ah well if you had you would know there aren’t any.” At Andy’s quizzical look she continued, “I didn't read it.”

“What?” Andy jumped to her feet. “You didn't read it?” She started pacing. “I went mad trying to write something that I was willing to turn in.” She threw her hands in the air, “You kept it for a whole week and didn't read it?” Her voice was getting squeaky, “I went crazy for a whole week wondering what you thought.”

“And yet,” Miranda interrupted her, “once you had it you never bothered to check.” She held out her hands to Andy, who begrudgingly stepped closer and took them.

“Andrea, Darling, I couldn't possibly read it.” She squeezed Andrea’s hands.

“Why not”

“Because if things go as I hope I don't want to have some kind of script in my head. I want us to be naturally us.”

****

Andy was completely overwhelmed by all of her emotions. She had never gone from so low to so high and back again in such a short span of time. She looked into Miranda’s eyes shyly, her heart pounding. “So you want to…” She stopped not sure how to continue the sentence.

“Mmm,” Miranda replied as she pulled Andy in closer. She let go of the younger woman’s hands and placed her hands on Andy’s hips pulling her until she was standing between Miranda’s legs. “I do, but if you weren't in accord I didn't want to have your story in my head. Images of what it would be like to love you, when I couldn’t, would be torture.”

“I am,” Andy nodded her head enthusiastically, “I am in accord.”

Miranda used her hands on Andy’s hips to turn her sideways and pull her on to her left leg. Andy’s right arm automatically went around Miranda’s shoulder and the women looked in to each other’s eyes. Andy leaned in for a kiss, but Miranda put her hand up to stop her. She took Andy’s free hand in hers and then kissed it.

“If we do this you must be sure. I am too old to hide or play games.” Miranda took a deep shuddering breath and continued, “In the words of your new boss, it’s going to be a shit storm!”

“Wait! What! You told him?” Andrea responded in shock.

“He is a dear friend, I didn't have to tell him” Miranda's face went blank when she continued. “If this bothers you, him knowing, imagine how you will feel about people you are close to, your parents for example.”

Andy recognized Miranda’s lack of expression as a way of hiding her fear. “My parents are the ones who told me I felt this way. Something about punching my brother when he called you the Ice Queen gave it away.” She chuckled, “That doesn't mean they love the idea, but they do love me so it will be ok.” Andy kissed Miranda on her forehead. “As for the rest of the world I think NaaNaaNee BooBoo seems about right.”

“And when they call you a gold digger or imply that you are evidence of my midlife crisis? What then?”

“Miranda there are only three people whose thoughts on this I care about.” She kissed Miranda’s cheek. “You and your girls are the only ones that matter, everyone else can kiss my ass.”

“Well, no Andrea, actually they can’t. That will be part of the deal no one else kisses that lovely ass.” Miranda’s face relaxed a little. “Cassidy and Caroline have indicated that you would be worth the press coverage, so I guess that’s one obstacle down.”

“Are there others? Obstacles I mean.”

“You need to be sure Andrea, absolutely sure. If you are not fully invested, if it doesn't work, my career and my family will survive, but I’m not sure I will. If we stop now it will hurt. If we continue and sometime down the road you trade me in for a younger model it will gut me I know it will.” She gripped Andy’s hand tightly. “I am twenty-years older than you. Think about what you are signing up for, when you are fifty I’ll be seventy. I am a woman who is constantly under fire and mocked by the tabloids. You worked for me, I am still that person no matter who I am with romantically. And don't get me started on the two scamps that are part of the Priestly package.”

“You are beautiful and brilliant, my knees go weak when you walk into a room. I have never seen a model, younger or otherwise, that could do that! I don't care about the tabloids and as for the scamps… they’re into fan fiction. It’s a match made in heaven.”

Andy leaned in hovering over Miranda’s lips giving her time to be sure. Miranda rolled her eyes at Andy’s gentle approach and muttered, “Please take your time, you know how that thrills me.” With her free hand on the back of Andy’s head Miranda pulled her in for their first kiss.

*****

Miranda’s stomach trembled as she pulled Andrea in for their first kiss and their second kiss, it was still trembling at kiss number four but because her heart was beating so hard she barely noticed. After what seemed like a month of foreplay Miranda wasn't in a ‘take it slow’ kind of mood. She was in a ‘take it now’ kind of mood. Miranda nudged Andrea from her lap and pulled her down to the floor. She straddled the younger woman and with one hand held her wrists above her head. Spurred on by Andrea’s moans Miranda rocked her pelvis, she leaned forward and growled in her ear while pushing Andrea’s wrists more firmly against the floor. “Do not move these.” The younger woman nodded her head in agreement.

“Good, Good girl,” Miranda said and she began to unbutton Andrea’s shirt it seemed it only took an instant for her to be completely undressed but to Miranda it seemed to take forever. Even in her frenzy she couldn't force herself to damage the clothing so each button was an obstical to be overcome. Once she reached her goal she took a moment to admire the beauty that is her lover and then proceeded to use her hands and tongue and lips to thoroughly explore every inch of her.

****

Miranda gazed at the vision in her bed. After practically feasting on the young woman she had brought her upstairs expecting to continue. She hadn't even gotten her clothes off before Andrea was sound asleep. ‘Well, I guess I should take it a little slower next time.’ She thought to herself, she wasn't sure if she was feeling smug that she had the stamina to tire her new lover out or annoyed that she would be going to sleep unsatisfied.

****

Andy felt the mattress move and opened her eyes. She watched as Miranda gracefully got back in bed holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a familiar manilla envelope in the other. “Hi,” she said smiling sleepily, “is it time to get up?”

“No Darling, I thought we could have some coffee and rest in.”

“Oh ok,” Andy said hesitantly. She watched Miranda pull chapter three of ‘Cats? Really?’ out of its folder.  
“Umm you’re going to read that now?”

“I thought it would be interesting, do you have an issue with that?”

“I just…” Andy blushed and continued shyly, “I just didn't think I would be with you while you read it. It’s kind of intimidating.”

Miranda looked at her with eyebrows raised, “After everything we actually did last night you are intimidated by reading about something we didn't do.”

“Actually, I don't really remember doing anything last night.” She blushed deep red and continued, “Well except… well you know…”

Miranda’s voice came out in a low sexy growl, “Except coming you mean? You must remember experiencing several orgasms, do you not?”

“Oh, God,” Andy said in a squeaky voice while covering her face and peeking through her fingers.

“So, let’s see what we have here.” Miranda seemed to be grinning at Andy’s discomfort. After a few moments she was using a voice filled with indignation to read from the story. “Her familiar gray hair bobbing between her legs!” She looked at Andy outraged. “That is rather crass Andrea, really!” She scratched out the offending sentence and tapped her pen against her lips contemplating the paragraph. “Hmm,” Andy heard her mumbling as she wrote, “Iconic hair….pleasuring her-”

Andy sat up annoyed, “Well it’s not that easy you know. It is not that easy to write this when you have never done it…” Her eyes widened at the shocked look on Miranda’s face. “With you, I mean, never done it with you.”

“Andrea,” Miranda said in a low voice, “are you telling me that this was your first time?”

“Of course not!” Andy said while looking around wildly for a place to hide where she could die in peace.

“Andrea, have you ever been with a woman before?” Miranda’s voice was unnaturally level.

Andy shook her head no.

Miranda groaned. “It was your first time and you let me take you on my study floor!” Miranda’s voice went up in decibels with each word. “I positively ravished you on the floor, the floor Andrea!”

“I liked it-” Andrea tried to break in to Miranda’s tirade.

“No, no you will forget this ever happened.” She spoke to Andrea menacingly. “You. Will. Forget. This.”

Andrea’s heart seemed to stop beating, “But…but”

“Get up, now, get up!” Andy slid out of bed. “I’ll call Roy to take you home.” Miranda put her hand to her head. “Forget this happened.”

“Why,” Andy asked hardly able to talk as tears fell down her cheeks. “I thought you cared for me. I thought.…” She could no longer speak through her tears.

Miranda looked at Andy as if she hadn't seen her. Apparently she had gotten so wrapped up in her rant she didn't realize how she sounded. “Roy will drop you off at your home,” she put her hand up to silence Andy’s coming response. “And then he will return this evening to retrieve you. We will go out and have a lovely dinner and then, if you would like, we can come back here.”

“You are confusing me,” Andy said, her face wet with tears. She was no longer crying but her voice was low and scratchy. “What do you want?”

“I want a do over! You are far too precious to have your first time be a ravishing on the study floor.”

Andy’s face broke into a smile. “But I liked it,” Andy said lowly while moving seductively towards her distressed lover. “I really, really liked it.” Her anguished expression replaced by a feral smile.

Miranda took a step back, “Well, yes, I see…”

“I am glad you see, because I want to see. There were lots of things I didn't see last night.”

“Andrea, really we should stop.”

“No Miranda we should start.” She pulled the tie on Miranda’s robe and pushed her gently to the bed.

 

Epilogue-

Andy cringed when she heard the familiar sound of her wife’s Prada heels coming down the hallway. “Crap,” She said to herself and tried to type faster.

“Andrea, I can’t believe you are still working on that article! We leave for the Met in a half hour.”

The guilty look on Andy’s face must have given her away because Miranda glared at her and asked, “That is not an article for work is it?”

Andy looked up and almost couldn't respond. Miranda was absolutely beautiful in a black Valentino shoulder-less floor length dress. “God you’re lovely!” She said in awe.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, you need to get ready.”

“Yup, no worries, I just need to type this last little bit and then send it to Lara. I’ll be ready in no time.”

“And what exactly will I tell people when they notice I am late?” Andrea arched a brow and stared at her. “Fine, when I am later than usual, shall I tell them that my wife got bitten by a plot bunny?”

“Good one,” Andy said amused, she hit send and jumped up off the bed. “See, done, I can do my makeup in the car.”

Miranda rolled her eyes and watched Andy get ready while mumbling to herself. “Sorry Irv had to stop at the Doctor and see if the scenario rabbit died.” She snorted at her own joke imagining what Page Six would do with that.

Once in the car Andy finished her makeup. Only a moment later her phone alerted her to a text. She grinned happily when she read it.

“Let me guess,” Miranda said dryly, “Lara?”

“No,” Andy chuckled, “It’s Jane and she’s pissed. Lara hit her head when she fell over laughing, again.”

“We should send that girl a helmet,” Miranda said in exasperation. She rested her head on the back of her seat and looked heavenward. With passion in her voice she prayed, “Dear Lord save us all from fan fiction.”

The End


End file.
